holding hands with a tree

Tonight, while waiting for my bus, I was sitting on the bridge wall when I noticed a tree branch right next to me. I reached out to touch it, and then I saw a branch even closer to me. Isn't it funny how that works! The branch was at the perfect place so that I could just hold it in my hand and sit there without having to hold my hand up. I sat there, holding onto the skinny branch for some time, just enjoying it. I never knew holding hands with a tree could be so fun! And that's really what it felt like, even though it was just a skinny branch. Skinny as it was, it was the very end of a huge branch, and a giant tree who's clearly enjoyed living on the banks of a stream. I was suprised how much life I felt, even though outwardly the tree is dormant in the short Texas winter. My hand was vibrating at the presence of the branch. I quickly felt myself swell with love, a sense so much larger than my body. I even tried melding with the tree, shifting my consciousness over into the tree itself, though I could only imagine it rather than truly experience it. Even so, there was no mistaking the grand feeling of love I experienced. A moment in time that was truly wonderful...

Decisions

I'm really starting to think that I need to find a new martial art. I left class tonight just depressed. I missed all last week due to being sick, and part of the week before because I had other things to do. Tonight sensei wanted to talk to the people who weren't at class last week. I just reminded him I was sick and he was fine. The problem is that it isn't his place to decide how much time we devote to karate. I am a graduate student, which takes a huge chunk of time, and I'm a wife who needs to spend time with her wife. On the grand list of priorities, it's definately after school, Carrie, meditation (Wild Divine), my family...basically I'm just trying to maintain right now so I don't have to start all over when I finally have a little time. However, I don't think I like the club. I really miss my old dojo, and I never felt like I was doing something wrong for choosing school over karate.

My other issue is that I think my beliefs are changing. I don't know that a strength based martial art is what I need anymore. At first I liked that it was fewer techniques but you learned body control and how to focus all your muscles to maximize power. The implication is that you use that maximum power if you are attacked. I don't think I have the heart to hurt someone like that, even if they're trying to hurt me. Besides, there's so little practicality in this that I don't feel I could do shit if I were attacked. I'd just rely on my self defense from what I studied as a kid. I'm thinking I might make the switch to aikido, which lines up with my belief structure far more. I'm not going to decide until after this semester, but it's hard. I don't like to be looked at like I'm less than someone else because they come all the time. But the other students in the class aren't first or second year graduate students! In undergrad it wasn't so hard to balance courses, and once you're done with the first two graduate years it isn't so bad either. I just don't want to deal with this anymore. Besides, it's a huge time commitment that could be spent at home with carrie. I can still work out by riding our bike and hitting the punching bag, plus I can play drums. But there's no one to give me crap for not going to something.

I'm willing to admit part of this mood is due to my low energy night, still recovering from being sick and not getting enough sleep. That's why I'm not making an immediate decision. But this has been bugging me for a while, so I think it's time to make a decision. Soon...

journey log

Tonight I didn't play as long, though I forgot to check what time I started. I set out to try the celestial theater since I was unable to do it last time. I succeeded three times, though I'm still not sure how because there isn't any guide for the heart breath. I focused on smoothing the transition between inhale/exhale, which seemed to be the missing piece. I think once I can do that consistently with the heart breath I will do better with the peaceful breath. It's still quite difficult for me, because I have to breath so painfully slow. The lungs are ok inhaling slowly, but the exhalation is difficult. Mentally I think start to worry that I'll never catch my breath, even though I am in control and won't just suffocate. It's very strange. I didn't do too many events because I'm quite tired and was dozing off for seconds even during the heart breath. So I think sleep would be a good idea instead of more playing. I can practice breathing in bed and just fall asleep.

Life and death

There's been a theme of death lately, though not in that foreboding way.
1. Next week is the 1 year anniversary of my grandfather's death. I didn't even realize it, time has passed so quickly. My grandma asked that anyone who could make it go to brunch, but clearly it's a bit too far from austin to wisconsin.

2. Carrie's dad has been told he won't make it to his birthday, which is either march or may 18th (we can't remember). He has a condition called factor 5 lyden that causes his blood to clot for no reason. He has blood clots all over his body. The spider veins in his stomach are blocked, and some have exploded so he is bleeding into his stomach. On top of that they found cancer in his stomach. I don't think he'll do chemo, because I think that will kill him faster. I expect he'll go suddenly one day from a stroke. We've been expecting this news for quite some time, so now it's just a matter of waiting until he's gone.

3. A guy I went to school with in Wisconsin died wednesday night from complications due to diabetes. He was only 28 (though I thought he was 31 or something...). His death has made a lot of people think, especially a good friend of mine who was his roomate. We haven't talked to her yet, but apparently she's working 18 hours a day to avoid going home. He was feeling sick since monday, but that's common in the winter when everyone has the flu and colds. And she feels if she could have just come home earlier from work she could have saved him. But then he probably would have sat in a diabetic coma for a few days before he died. The other aspect is that recently she called him an asshole, and I'm sure she's feeling bad about that. The thing is, the guy really was an asshole! I think it's interesting how people will all of a sudden refuse to say something bad about a person once their dead. I don't know if it stems from the idea the person is gone so we should feel bad for them or what, but I don't. I've never felt that we should speak differently of someone because they died. If it's truth, it's truth, plain and simple. The person who's dead doesn't care anymore, they are beyond this world. And if you hold something in, or add guilt to yourself for what you did say, all that does is add negativity to you. Definately not a positive thing. But hopefully she'll learn this once she slows down enough to think. In any case, I'm glad he went peacefully. I wonder what his soul set out to accomplish before he entered this world? Clearly he experienced all he needed to, it's just interesting. In any case, enjoy your freedom Eric. If you could, visit amanda while she's sleeping and tell her it's all ok. :-)

To contrast, the life department has been fun the past two days. We went to home depot and bought plants! We now have a window planter with 4 clusters of chives, 2 bunches of cilantro, a dill, rosemary, and now 3 plants of basil. I also finally bought the appropriate soil for my jades and transplanted them. I have 3 larger trees (relatively speaking, they aren't large at all, less than an inch in diameter), 1 slightly smaller tree, and 3 leaves just sprouting a root system to start. I can't wait to see how those all work out! I cut them all back a lot because they had too many leaves to support thanks to my overwatering in the past year. I think they'll do much better now. So yes, it is february and we just planted herbs!!! Only in texas! But it's great. Now I'm going to return to my mini garden and finish my homework problem.

journey log

For the first time, I tried playing wild divine in the morning. It was...different. For one, it was very difficult to control my breathing today. Perhaps it is still being sick and wanting to cough half the time, or perhaps it's the larger amount of energy I have in the morning. In any case, definately not fun. However I did get a little better at the high energy events. I'm sticking to the Lion's breath technique, since that is a yogic technique rather than making up my own method. It does seem to work, though I'm still experimenting with it. I also worked on the heart breath more. It is a shorter breath than the peaceful breath, so it's more calming to me right now. The peaceful breath is hard because you are smoothing the transition between inhale and exhale, and the heart breath doesn't care about that as much.

So far I'm still happy with this game. I wish it were more linear, leading us through a progression that would build skills rather than the semi-free for all that exists now. However, there definately are certain skills that are learned before progressing in the game. So I guess I'm just wishing the AI wasn't AI, that I had an actual teacher working with me in real life. However I know that the master only comes when the student is ready. I'm surrounded by a wealth of information, and it is up to me to decide to apply it. This game is a good start for me, because I'm making the effort to play it nightly which is definately more meditating than I've ever done. I've found places in the game that you are simply looking out into the distance, with no event, and I believe those are meant for simply meditating. I think I'll try that soon.

Tonight I'm doing my Jackson EM homework outside. The weather is awesome, around 60 degrees with fog and some light rain, and I just love the feeling. I get fresh, cool air and moisture. Plus I'm surrounded by the plants we just bought yesterday. So while my homework is still a little tricky, I feel calm due to the environment around me. Isn't that the point though? To apply spirituality to everything we do to live a more calm and happy life. I don't remember being very stressed at all this week, and that's definately a first, considering I was also sick! This game may have been the key that unlocks a whole new progression for me. :-)

Spirituality course: week 0

The first assignment for anyone wishing to seriously explore and to personally live the New Spirituality will be to go within.

Begin a schedule of daily practice in meditation, deep prayer, silent listening, whatever you are comfortable with. You can begin this right now, this instant. Fifteen minutes in the morning and fifteen minutes at night can change your life...

...Second, exercise your body. Your mind does not fully and easily take in new data if your body is lumping through the day. If you are not on a regular exercise regimen, establish one now. This is something you can do within the next twenty-four hours. Twenty minutes a day used in this way can change your life...

...Third, eat well. You are dulling your mind and killing your body with what you are ingesting. This effect is slow, and it is insidious. You do not know it is happening until it has happened, and then to reverse it becomes extremely difficult...

...Fourth...Seek, on a regular basis, spiritual inspiration and sustenance for your soul. Find a way to recognize - that is, to re-cognize, to know again - the sacredness of all life, and to honor that which is divine, and which is divinely inspired.
Do this in whatever way feels fitting to you.

...When Life, rather than Instant Gratification, becomes your Prime Value, you will know that you have become truly spiritual...

- Tomorrow's God, Neale Donald Walsch p 223-228 (excerpted)
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If you have yet to take a meditation course, I recommend signing up for the course here. You will learn many different types of meditation, one of which will hopefully fit you. I personally prefer using a biofeedback computer game that gives me visual feedback and specific goals to reach. I can talk about this more later, or you can check out my blog for my training notes.

There's no specific homework for this post, but it would benefit you to incorporate some or all of these into your daily life. Feel free to include ways that you experience spirituality so we can all learn. Perhaps we'll all learn some new and interesting ways to experience the divine. :-)

Spirituality course: week 7

Building on the last two weeks, this week the focus will be on remembering who we really are, which includes remembering who everyone else is. To illustrate, another story about the little soul.

The Little Soul and the Sun: part 2
There is a second half to the parable. Here it is:

"You may choose to be any Part of God you wish to be," I said to the Little Soul. "You are Absolute Divinity, experiencing Itself. What Aspect of Divinity do you now wish to experience as You?"

"You mean I have a choice?" asked the Little Soul. And I answered, "Yes. You may choose to experience any Aspect of Divinity in, as, and through you."

"Okay," said the Little Soul, "then I choose Forgiveness. I want to experience my Self as that Aspect of God called Complete Forgiveness."

Well, this created a little challenge as you can imagine.

There was no one to forgive. All I have created is Perfection and Love.

"No one to forgive?" asked the Little Soul, somewhat incredulously.

"No on," I repeated. "Look around you. Do you see any souls less perfect, less wonderfull than you?"

At this the Little Soul twirled around, and was suprised to see himself surrounded by all the souls in heaven. They had come from far and wide throughout the Kingdom, because they heard that the Little Soul hwas having and extraordinary conversation with God.

"I see none less perfect than I!" the Little Soul exclaimed. "Who, then, shall I have to forgive?"

Just then, another soul stepped forward from the crowd. "You may forgive me," said this Friendly Soul.

"For what?" the Little Soul asked.

"I will come into your next physical lifetime and do something for you to forgive," replied the Friendly Soul.

"But what? What could you, a being of such Perfect Light, do to make me want to forgive you?" the Little Soul wanted to know.

"Oh," smiled the Friendly Soul, "I'm sure we can think of something."

"But why would you want to do this?" The Little Soul could not figure out why a being of such perfection would want to slow down its vibration so much that it could actually do something "bad."

"Simple," the Friendly Soul explained, "I would do it because I love you. You want to experience your Self as Forgiving, don't you? Besides, you've done the same for me?"

"I have?" asked the Little Soul.

"Of course. Don't you remember? We've been All Of It, you and I. We've been the Up and the Down of it, and the Left and the Right of it. We've been the Here and the There of it, and the Now and the Then of it. We've been the Big and the Small of it, the Male and the Female of it, the Good and the Bad of it. We've all been the All of It.

"And we've done it by agreement, so that each of us might experience ourselves as The Grandest Part of God. For we have understood that...

"In the absence of that which You Are Not, that Which You ARE, is NOT."

"In the absence of 'cold,' you cannot be 'warm.' In the absence of 'sad,' you cannot be 'happy,' without a thing called 'evil,' the experience you call 'good' cannot exist.

If you choose to be a thing, something or someone opposite to that has to show up somewhere in your universe to make that possible."

The Friendly Soul then explained that those people are God's Special Angles, and these are the conditions of God's Gifts.

"I ask only one thing in return," the Friendly Soul declared.

"Anything! Anything!" the Little Soul cried. He was excited now to know that he could experience every Divine Aspect of God. He understood, now, The Plan.

"In the moment that I strick you and smite you," said the Friendly Sould, "in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could ever imagine - in that self-same moment...remember Who I Really Am."

"Oh, I won't forget!" promised the Little Soul. "I will see you in the perfection with which I hold you now, and I will remember Who You Are, always."

_____________
This ends the parable, but I want to include the next two paragraphs from the book to really sum it up
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That is...that is an extraordinary story, and incredible parable.

And the promise of the Little Soul is the promise I make to you. That is what is unchanging. Yet have you, My Little Soul, kept this promise to others?

No. I'm sad to say I have not.

Do not be sad. Be happy to notice what is true, and be joyous in your decision to live a new truth. For god is a work in progress, and so are you. And remember this always: If you saw you as God sees you, you would smile a lot.

So go now and see each other as Who You Really Are.
Observe. Observe. Observe.
I have told you - the major difference between you and highly evolved beings is that highly evolved beings observe more.
If you wish to increase the speed with which you are evolving, seek to observe more.

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From Conversations with God book 3 by Neale Donald Walsch, page 347 paperback edition

Homework: Choose 2 people in your life who you are not the most fond of. This could be someone who treats you poorly at school/work, someone in your family who you don't get along with...it doesn't matter. See if you can find what they're purpose is in your life, in light of this parable. Can you remember who they really are?

Spirituality course: week 6

Last week we discussed the idea of unity, and the largest implications of that concept, which is that we are all divine beings, or gods. In every spiritual discipline, gods are creative. They created the world, they created us, simply everything. We're not going to debate creation vs evolution or anything like that. Rather, this week is about remembering who you are as a creative being. This idea, more than any other, can be the most life changing because it reminds you exactly how in control of your life you are. Some of these ideas are going to be hard to hear, but if that is the case, explore why you are feeling resistance and lets talk about it. As always, much can be learned from disagreement.

The book I'm taking quotes from this week is called Ask and It Is Given by Ester and Jerry Hicks. I highly recommend it, and it gives you not only a good explanation of how creation works, but fun exercises to do to bring more of what you want into your life. So without further ado...

"You were born with the innate knowledge that you do create your own reality."
Think about any time someone in your life told you no. It doesn't matter whether you were 5 or 25, chances are you were annoyed (or perhaps a stronger emotion...) Our reactions show the conflict we are having with our souls, because our souls know that they create, which is something in fact they can't not do.

How does this work? The Law of Attraction. "That which is like unto itself is drawn." Lol, I know, it sounds awkward. So a little simpler; like attracts like. "Whatever you give your attention to causes you to emit a vibration, and the vibrations that you offer equal your asking, which equals your point of attraction." What this means is, you get whatever you put thought toward, whether it's something you want or not. This explains how things we worry about can come true, even if we don't want them to happen. If you are thinking about a negative event, you are putting those vibrations into the universe...and eventually the universe answers back with the event that matches your vibrations...and your worse fears come true. That may sound scary, but it's actually freeing. You're in control of creating your world, rather than being at the mercy of life. This control means you can bring wellness into your life also.

Of course there are some variables to this. For instance, something you think about briefly doesn't carry as much energy as something you put a lot of thought toward. So don't get down on yourself when you think of something you don't really want to think about. It's a matter of slowly changing how you think about your life. So don't dwell on your fears; "nothing can happen in your life without your invitation of it through your thought."

Another variable ties into our beliefs lecture. "Your desires and your beliefs must be a vibrational match in order for you to receive that which you desire." This could be a simple as believing that you deserve wellness! Or that it's possible to be content in life. These ideas come from many places, but in the end it's self-defeating and creates resistance.

"There is only a stream of well-being the flows. You can allow it or resist it, but it flows just the same." Therefore what we call 'bad things' are just the lack of well-being. There is no evil, just a resistance to good. There is no sickness, but a resistance to natural well-being. Thus, to change the life you are creating, you remove resistance and well-being naturally comes to you.

At this point I've put a lot of information out there, so I'd like to leave the rest to discussion and homework. For your homework, we'll look at the past and the future. First spend time looking back at your life. Look at both positive and negative events that have happened, and see if you can see what thoughts brought those events about. If you see any connections, that's great! If not, that's ok too. What matters is how you apply this information in your life. So the next part is application for the future. Pick something you truly want to see happen in your life. Be as specific as you like, but make sure you're specific enough to really visualize. Do you want a certain kind of career? To go to a certain school? Take some time to put positive energy toward that goal. If you feel any blockages, like doubt that you can do it, release them. Visualize yourself getting exactly what you want. After you do this, write a summary of what you did.

journey log

Tonight I explored a little more of the realm, trying to find what I'm supposed to do next to advance the story. In that exploration I tried to go to the celistial theater, which I couldn't figure out. All they say is to even out your energy and the levitators will form shapes of the universe...I don't know. In any case, I decided to bail and practice other things. I finally opened the door to the subtle body temple. It's really interesting, because it doesn't use the biofeedback sensors. I did the first two exercises. They're meant to awaken you to your subconscious body. I started to get it, but it wasn't what I wanted to work on. So I returned to the temple with the energy events and worked with the bow and arrow. I finally figured out that it alternates between wanting low and high energy. Low I can do, sometimes it takes a while, but I can do it. High...I just don't do it consistently. I get spikes, and that's it. Perhaps it is due to my illness? I'm going to explore the message boards and see if there are recommendations, but I'll probably just have to keep experimenting. I just think it's interesting that i can relax but not pump up my energy, except for short bursts, which is not what is required usually. However, I know once I start to figure this out I will be able to apply those skills to healing, which will be very useful.

New Journey events

Well, today was quite interesting. I decided to explore new areas today. It took me a long time to settle in and control my breathing. Being sick really isn't easy! Also, I realized last night that I've always meditated lying down due to my back, but when I play I am sitting up, which compresses the stomach and makes breathing slightly more difficult. However, I feel I'm improving greatly at my ability to control my breathing, and control the impulse to take one of those giant shoulder breaths that are merely there to stretch the muscles I believe. I definately feel calmer now, though I also feel tired, so I'm going to skip homework and go to bed. But first a little wrap up...

Even with lots of stress, I can let go of it with this game. Because you really have to control your breathing and energy level, you are forced to focus more. And with a goal in mind, it's easier to keep going towards the goal rather than give up. There are probably people who don't need this feedback and encouragement, but I sure do. This program was worth every bit of money I paid, and then some. It's making a huge difference for me. Since when have I ever sat down for an hour of meditation? Never! I can't even fathom it. Yet you sit in a meditative state of differing levels in this game and don't notice time passing. Amazing...

Spirituality course: week 5

This week I'm going to introduce some concepts using a story. I really like this story, and hope you will at the least get something useful from it.

The Little Soul and the Sun p.1
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There once was a soul who knew itself to be the light. This was a new soul, and so, anxious for experience. "I am the light," it said. "I am the light." Yet all the knowing of it and all the saying of it could not substitute for the experience of it. And in the realm from which this soul emerged, there was nothing but the light. Every soul was grand, every soul was magnificent, and every soul shone with the brilliance of My awesome light. And so the little soul in question was as a candle in the sun. In the midst of the grandest light - of which is was a part - it could not see itself, nor experience itself as Who and What it Really Is.

Now it came to pass that this soul yearned and yearned to know itself. And so great was its yearning that I one day said, "Do you know, Little One, what you must do to satisfy this yearning of yours?"

"Oh, what, God? What? I'll do anything!" the little soul said.

"You must separate yourself from the rest of us," I answered, "and then you must call upon yourself the darkness."

"What is the darkness, o Holy One?" the little soul asked.

"That which you are not," I replied, and the soul understood.

And so this the soul did, removing itself from the All, yea, going even unto another realm. And in this realm the soul had the power to call into its experience all sorts of darkness. And this it did.

Yet in the midst of all the darkness did it cry out, "Father, Father why hast Thou forsaken me?" Even as have you in your blackest times. Yet I have never forsaken you, but stand by you always, ready to remind you of Who You Really Are; ready, always ready, to call you home.

Therefore, be a light unto the darkness, and curse it not.

And forget not Who You Are in the moment of your encirclement by that which you are not. But do you praise to the creation, even as you seek to change it.

And know that what you do in the time of your greatest trial can be your greatest triumph. For the experience you create is a statement of Who You Are - and Who You Want to Be.

I (God) have told you this story - the parable of the little soul and the sun - so that you might better understand why the world is the way it is - and how it can change in an instant the moment everyone remembers the divine truth of their highest reality.
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from
Conversations with God book 1 by Neale Donald Walsch, p 33-34 first hardcover edition

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There are many different ideas in this short story. We discussed last week that everything is united, yet we experience disconnection in our lives. How is this possible if we are truly one? In order to experience unity we must first experience separation. Every experience is relative. This concept is described with yin and yang especially. Something cannot exist without its opposite. In this story, the soul experienced itself as one with all the other souls; one with God. Yet in time that experience faded until the soul could not truly experience the unity. The soul needed to define itself, but how could it define itself in the presence of the All, among souls exactly like it? The soul needed to experience that which it wasn't in order to experience that which it was. I'll leave more details of this for our discussion.

Another concept is that our perspective determines our reality. This soul, once in the realm where darkness existed, thought itself to be separate and abandoned. Yet this was not the case, the soul had simply forgotten who it really was! It got caught up in the realm it was experiencing and forgot the divine perfection within. Everyone does this. That is why there are people in this world who are meant to remind us of who we really are. Have you ever had a time where someone showed up at just the right time, and said just the right thing to make us feel better? That is the Force reminding us of who we really are.

There are many other concepts, but I'd like to see what you all grab onto, what speaks to you more than anything else. For your homework pick one part of the story and discuss what you thought it meant, whether you agree or disagree with it, and anything you learned specifically from this story.

Spirituality course: week 4

I alluded to this concept last week, but this week we'll discuss it explicitly.

We are all one.

What does this mean? In discussions about the force we learn of the living force, the energy that comes from living things. But this feels a bit abstract, as just knowledge rather than experience. For me, this concept became closer to a true belief after reading the New Jedi Order book Traitor. If you haven't read it, it's ok, because the idea is put forth in many places. In my recent spiritual journeys I came to a deeper understanding, which I'd like to put before you. I'll say it with a few different concepts.

1. We are connected not only to living things, but non-living things as well.
2. There are no non-living things.
3. Therefore we are connected to all things.

Now I know, some people are going to say, ok, maybe I can buy your first statement, but what you do mean, there are no non-living things? I can see tons of examples of non-living things within just five feet of me. So I'll explain, or at least try to. :-)

How do we define living things? I know there is a technical dictionary definition, but what fun is that? Let's try to define things in terms of the force. I understand not everyone has physically experienced the force, for instance by sensing things around them. So if you haven't, just pretend for now. Or go out and experiment. For instance, stand a few feet away from a tree and take a few steps toward it with your eyes closed. Obviously you don't want to walk too far so you run into the tree, but see if you can feel the tree's presence. Hopefully you will feel the tree before you physically touch it.

How is this experience possible? The tree has it's own energy that we sense by it's interaction with our energy. I think most people will agree that living things have energy, that they are part of the force. So what's to stop us from sensing an 'inanimate' object in the same way? Nothing. You can do this same thing with a rock. Would you normally consider a rock to be alive? Yet a rock is felt in the force, vibrating at it's own unique frequency. This is why certain rocks are considered to have healing properties. All inanimate objects vibrate at a frequency, though sometimes they vibrate as such a slow frequency it is difficult to see how they are moving and changing.

If you were to zoom in, so close as to see actual atoms and molecules however, what would you see? An insane amount of motion and activity, with particles moving all over the place! So if you could ask a rock, are you sitting still, the rock would say absolutely not! Look at me, I'm a flurry of activity! We just can't see the activity. In fact, it is impossible for anything to be immobile, for that would mean it had no energy, and thus did not exist. Therefore, everything that exists has energy. Energy is the Force, and the Force is life. Therefore everything is alive. You might still think I'm a bit off my rocker, but that's ok. I only ask that you consider the concept.

After that long explanation, we'll return to the concept at hand, and the grand implication of it. We are all one, with everything that exists. Now, choose your definition, and feel this statement. God/the Force/Life exists, I am one with all that exists, therefore I am one with God/the Force/Life. I am God/the Force/Life. If you were raised in a culture of Christianity, as many of us have, you may feel completely comfortable with using the Force is the above sentence, yet wholly uncomfortable using God. Why is this? Take some time to think about it for yourself, and post your insights following this post. Please be honest, for there is never anything to be ashamed of, and everything can be learned from.

For your homework, explore the possibilities this lecture holds. How could these ideas change your behaviors and those of the world around you? Knowing this idea, that we are all one with everything, is it possible to be truly alone? Feel free to discuss anything that comes to your head, including that you completely disagree with this. Often times greater understanding comes from disagreeing with something than agreeing for it involves more thought. Good luck!

Spirituality course: week 3

Now that we’ve discussed beliefs and how they affect our behaviors, it’s about time we take a look at some definitions. As Jedi, we (usually) believe in the Force. If you’ve spent any time at all in the online Jedi realm, you’ve probably noticed a few discussions over what is the Force in the real world rather than movies. Rather than rehash all of those discussions, we’ll make our own definition with respect to spirituality.

Throughout my journey I’ve called the Force life, the universe, god, energy, qi (chi), and I’m sure others have their own words. Yet these are just words. In the end, we’re all describing the same thing. How do I know? Well, for one I’ve felt energy during my meditation and qigong practice. I’ve learned about quantum physics that tells us that everything at its core is simply energy, and that energy is related to matter by a factor of the speed of light squared. And I trust those who have reached an enlightened state who knew at the core of their being that we are all one. So what this means is that the word we use to describe the “bigger thing” does not matter, it still is there whether or not we name it, whether or not we consciously use it; it always is and always will be. One way to describe this more concretely follows:

In a word…
Love...
In a word, God is Love.
and freedom.
In a word, God is freedom.
and joy.
In a word, God is joy.
and peace.
In a word, God is peace.
and unity.
In a word, God is unity.

These are the grandest aspects of God and Life, and when people are being anything other than these things, they have forgotten Who They Are in their grandest version.
- Tomorrow's God, Neale Donald Walsch

Now remember, you can substitute any word for God that you like, be it Life, be it the Force, it doesn’t matter because the truth of it still holds.

Homework: For next week, describe how it is you feel the divine around you. Do you meditate, go to a worship service, or commune with nature? Then I’d like you to try to do the activity of your choice for a few moments every day. It can be as little as 5 minutes or as long as you’d like. Write up a summary of anything interesting you experienced as a result of this practice.

Spirituality course: week 2

I'm sure some of you are feeling a bit emotionally drained after last week's assignment, which is understandable. Our spiritual beliefs are core to our being, so investigating them takes great effort. However, having looked at yourself, you are now prepared to look at what works and what doesn't work in your spiritual path. This may be a strange way for you to think about your path, in terms of what works and what doesn't, but it is my goal to help you see that this is the only standard you need to hold with regards to anything.

That having been said, lets take a look at the core of human beliefs and where they come from. What I'm about to put forth you may or may not agree with, and that is ok. I only ask that you keep an open mind and consider what I am saying. If you were to take a look at human spiritual beliefs, across all religions, there are common elements. Ideas about Life, Death, Good, Evil, among lots of other things. I'm not going to go into them in depth because it's not necessary, however there are many books you can go to and learn more if you would like. The important thing to look at is whether or not our beliefs "work". I know, what do I mean, work? Well, first we need to decide what our goals are. Do we want a peaceful, loving society? Do we want conflict and war? Most people would say, "Of course I want peace and love, a life without conflict." Yet look around us. We live in a world full of conflict and war, and with a lack of peace, love and freedom. Why the contradiction between what we want in the world and what we actually have?

Beliefs. This may seem backwards at first, but truth is that beliefs create behaviors. This is why I had you list not only your beliefs, but begin to see how those beliefs influence your behavior. We are all here to become a Jedi in some way. Part of this path is changing our behaviors and becoming a more responsible and respected human being. How have we typically gone about this? We try really hard to change how we act, without ever changing our fundamental belief structure. This is why behavior is so hard to change in the long term! This is also why humans have behaved in a way that contradicted their goals; they simply went about changing things backwards.

Homework: For this week, take a look at your life. Pick two or three things you would like to change, behaviorally, about yourself. It could be something like reducing your road rage, or being less selfish. Anything will do. Then describe the belief you think is underlying the behavior. If you are getting stuck, ask me and we'll work it out together. Then, describe how you would change your belief to change your behavior.

Spirituality course: week 1

In order to begin the path of spiritual growth you need to know where you are starting from.

Quote:
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And remember; even a point of view with which you disagree can bring you closer to your inner truth.
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(from Tomorrow's God, Neale Donald Walsch p 232-233)

Our goal in this course is to find our own inner truth regarding who we are as spiritual beings. So before I say anything else, we're going to start with a fun assignment!

The assignment
You are to make a list of your spiritual beliefs. Include ideas about good, evil, right, wrong, origins of life, the afterlife, reincarnation, sacred texts you may or may not follow, rules or laws you believe, everything you can think of. This is going to be quite the effort, but it necessary for the journey we are about to embark on.

After you've finished this list, or reached a temporary stopping point, go back and write about how each specific belief affects your behavior. You may have never done this before, so take your time. For example, if you believe killing is wrong, how do you live that belief? Do you then believe war is wrong? If not, where do you draw the line? These are the questions you need to ask yourself.

This assignment will take a lot of deep thought. I want your beliefs, and not what others have told you to believe. You may find that things you thought you believed are not beliefs anymore. Or you may find contradictions in your beliefs that you didn't notice. You should have already looked at your beliefs a bit in Self Awareness, but this is going to be more in depth. Few of us examine our beliefs this closely, so the act will take some time and effort. If you find this activity difficult, stop and ask yourself why. The answer to this question is just as important and useful as any others we will ask because they will point back to your core beliefs.

I am going to push you in this course, so be aware of that now. Short, nice sounding answers will get you nowhere, at least not if spiritual growth and awareness is what you desire. Explain yourself fully and clearly to get the most out of this experience.

Because this assignment is so long I recommend keeping paper on you so you can jot down ideas when they come to you. Try to accomplish this task in a week, though you are allowed to continue to work throughout the course (and beyond) Even if you know you are not done, post what you have accomplished within a week so we can move on and focus on areas specific to you.

I know this feels a bit overwhelming right now, but do not worry. Be courageous and enjoy the journey of self discovery!

Day 2 of my Journey

Today I decided to play Wild Divine before doing homework to calm and smooth my thoughts. It was very tricky because I have come down with whatever crud is infecting everyone. My lungs are a little wierd, so my breaths are a little faster and shallower, which makes is much harder to relax. First I tried to "lighting the fire" event, which I basically did, but didn't quite get it lit long enough. Then I tried to do the energy balloon event, which wasn't what I wanted to do. Instead I tried one I hadn't done. It's again an event to calm yourself, with the visual of a ball of energy dropping towards the center of a figure. It looks like that standard religious pose; sitting in full lotus with the hands above the head. Anyway...I got to the point after about 30 minutes where I was completely calm, but I couldn't hold it long enough to "pass" the event. But it's all good.

In any case, it made a huge difference for my concentration, even with my cold affecting my body. I'm very glad I bought this. I wish I could buy it for everyone!

It came today!

Check out the Wild Divine!

Well, our game came today. After a little hiccup installing the game, I was able to get through quite a few of the first events. I think I'm going to really like this. There is one event I didn't do to well at, but it's kind of funny why. The event is to levitate a ball of energy by calming yourself. When you are relaxed and calm it moves up. Well, every time I got the ball to move a little I got excited so it would fall again! Haha, I thought it was funny, and I moved on after a while. The first event I actually completed was to light a fire by synchronizing my breath with the billow. That took a while, again because I would change slightly when I saw a little flicker of flame, which of course caused me to lose it. I got it though, and that also made me pretty happy.

There are really neat energy events in this one tower. One is where they use a balloon to represent your energy. If it goes too high or low it breaks. I actually started to get it, and to see the correlation between how I breath and how my energy flows. I learned that when I take a deep fast breath my energy spikes, which is not desirable. I'm already learning how to keep my energy flowing more steadily. All in just a few hours. Another event is to stack rocks on top of each other. You have to control your energy, either increase or decrease to move the rock up or down. It gets more difficult as you get higher on the stack because if the rock goes too high you lose it, and too low and you can't stack it. I completed that one however, and I felt good for doing it!

I believe I played for 2 1/2 hours, which is amazing because I didn't really feel bored, though my butt is getting a little sore from sitting! If anyone stumbles upon this and is interested, let me know. The program is a little expensive, $160, but there's a 30 day money back guarantee, plus it includes the biofeedback sensors and a music cd for your meditation practices off the computer. So far, I am loving this program. :-) I'm so glad it came today. I was so off center lately and not knowing how to get back. Even though I knew how, I just wasn't pulling it off. I skipped class today so I could play with this, and I'm glad I did. Now I need to call my friend and see if she can give me help on the quantum homework. yay homework!

extreme makeover home dream?

I had a fun, but strange dream this morning (literally in the span of 2 minutes or so). I was at my childhood home with some people, though I don't know who they were. We walked out the front door, and like in other dreams involving this house I said, "we rarely use this door" which is only partly true. We used that door for going to the barn, or heading to the yard, but if we went somewhere in the car we used the kitchen door because it led to the garage. Anyway, we stepped onto the porch and there was my front yard, but completely different. There was a wall in front of us, a retaining wall with large flat rocks, and someone was painting them. Apparently I wasn't suprised by the wall, but I did ask my dad why he was painting the rocks. I hate seeing rocks painted, destroys the beauty of them. He said something about moisture, and apparently that was good enough for me. But since when do you protect rocks from moisture?! Anyway, I walk up the wall (it's sloped) and first look to the birch tree that we climbed as kids. Since I was an adult now I thought about climbing it because it would be easier :-) The landscape began to change at this point. There were two streams in front of me, separated by a strip of land. It was very pretty. I walked to the back of the little strip and my mom asked my brother to check that the spring was flowing. During all this I remember looking at the water for some time, because the two streams looked like they used to be one very meandering stream, but someone placed a barrier in between them. The barrier was very thin so you almost couldn't see it, but you could see the pattern of waves that gave the barrier away. Very strange.

Then the dream got interesting... There was an obstacle course set up out of water and boards. Some of the boards were just floating, and some were secure, but only a little secure so you still had a challenge when you stood on them. There were also large foam things hanging from above to hold onto for support, like those foam noodles they sell for swimming. My mom lead me through the course, which was tough because the boards were pretty far apart and hard to maintain balance on. Some girl I don't know fell and got all wet, which was funny. I made it, though barely. Afterwards I was somehow at the other end of the yard, in the driveway basically. There were all of a sudden a whole slew of football players, all in jerseys that reminded me of the Colts, but they weren't pro players, more like high school or junior high. Everyone had the same number. Then the girl from before put a uniform on, and she had a different number. It seems the name on it was burge or something similar.

Oh, I almost forgot the sheep! So I was looking at the juncture point of the streams, where there was a hollowed out section. It was really dark, but I saw something white lying in there. I kept looking, trying to figure it out, and the shape slowly made sense. A sheep! I yelled at my mom, "there's a sheep in here" but she didn't hear me so I kept yelling it. Then the sheep just jumped up and took off running. Now why was there a sheep!!! That was pretty much the end of the dream sequence, though I'm not sure if that was before or after the football players. Either way, pretty fun, and strange. All the water was really neat though. And the obstacle course was interesting. Definately a challenge even with supports.

slipping

I feel like I'm falling into bad habits of stress and judgment. I don't like being this way; quick to anger, slow to affection, quick to judge, slow to forgive. I know it hurts me, but I haven't made the shift to move beyond yet. I had been doing so well, and now I'm letting school get to me. Graduate school is very difficult. The level of information you're supposed to make sense of is phenomenal just in one class, far more than in all my classes in undergrad. But instead of taking control of the situation and studying more, I've been doing just what I need to in order to get by, which ads to my stress. Why am I so slow to learn?! Today I took a big step and actually started some homework, though I only did the easy part. I still played way too much Zelda, and didn't work out or meditate. Where is the switch that finally applies what I know into what I am? I know so much random stuff, and in the end it means nothing because I don't apply it. There are days I do pretty good, and then days like this where I am falling short for some reason. I just don't know where to start at this point. I think I'll just start with going to bed and doing more in the morning. :-)

and now...

I believe I am finished posting book excerpts. I still need to finish Tomorrow's God, and I will, but I know I need to move on to the experiencial portion of this information. I need to apply what I've been learning, and that means no more reading! Time to meditate, work out, focus, love, grow...

who is Tomorrow's God?

1. Tomorrow's God does not require anyone to believe in God.

2. Tomorrow's God is without gender, size, shape, color, or any of the characteristics of an individual living being.

3. Tomorrow's God talks with everyone, all the time.

4. Tomorrow's God is separate from nothing, but is Everywhere Present, the All In All, the Aopha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the Sum Total f Everything that ever was, is now, and ever shall be.

5. Tomorrow's God is not a singular Super Being, but the extraordinary process called Life.

6. Tomorrow's God is ever changing.

7. Tomorrow's God is needless.

8. Tomorrow's God does not ask to be served, but is the Servant of all of Life.

9. Tomorrow's God will be unconditionally loving, nonjudgmental, noncondemning, and nonpunishing.
- Tomorrow's God, Neale Donald Walsch p 386
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I love Tomorrow's God. I'm so close to completely incorporating Tomorrow's God to be my God. The hangups for me are using male and female pronouns interchangably, listening to God and she speaks to me, and that he is one with us, thus making us part of God also. The pronouns thing is a relatively simple thing, the next two are a little more difficult. But for the first time in my life I can honestly say I love God. Without fear, without doubts, without questions, I love God. But I have always loved God, because I have always loved Life. The difference is now I know that God is life, not Yesterday's God that I was taught about as a child. I love God...it's so freeing, I can't even describe the feeling!

The New Spirituality

In the days of the New Spirituality:

your presently established religions will stop fighting with each other.

your presently established religions will stop imagining themselves to have all the answers.

many of your presently established religions will stop declaring that something can exist outside of God.

the idea that politics and spirituality do not mix will be abandoned forever.

the idea of using politics to define yourselves as you have defined God will be widely accepted.

humanity will begin at last to hold more basic beliefs in common, creating a more uniform standard for all political expression around the world.

the nature of God and of God's characteristics will be understood much more fully.

society's members will be clear about what is in their common interest, and will know how to arrive at that determination without bickering, quarreling, or fighting, and forevermore without violent conflict.

the message of freedom will inspire the experience of freedom itself.

the unity of all things will be experiential.

economy
all economic, commerce, and business considerations will become part of a Whole Systems Approach to the creation of a way of life and the construction of a society that works for everyone.

the purpose of business and commerce will be changed.

wealth will be defined not as possessions and power, but as access and happiness.

the economy will be transparent.

the economy will be localized.

there will be no disproportionate holding of wealth and resources, and abject poverty will no longer be allowed to exist.

it will be recognized that every human being has a right to the basics of Life and the ability to survive.

it will be recognized that natural resources belong to all.

education
adults will have the tools to give back to children the gift of their own imagination.

coercion and punishment will not be part of the educational process.

the focus on education will be on creation.

the priority of education will no longer be the dissemination of facts, but the increasing of sensitivity and awareness and understanding and compassion and acceptance and celebration of and appreciation for the awe and wonder of Life.

the function of education will be to draw a Circle of Relevance around the raw data and systems that suport Life.

education will be about creating, not a school, but a learning environment.

relationships
human relationships will be completely re-created in both prupose and process.

human relationships will no longer be seen as a means of need fulfillment.

all relationships will be seen as holy.

all people will understand that nothing has any meaning save the meaning they give it.

all people will understand the prupose of relationship and the Process of Life, as well as their role in it, and they will bless the process and call it holy, they will engage the process and call it adventure, they will experience the process and call it joy - and they will complete the process and call it Nirvana...then to happily begin the process all over again at the time of their choosing in the never-ending cycle of bliss that is Creation Itself.

it will be clear that all relationships begin and end and are created with and within the human soul.

love and freedom will be understood to be the same thing.

humans will understand that always have total freedom in relationships , that no one can ever take that away from them because it is Who They Are, and that every attempt to blame someone else for curtailing one's freedom is simply an act of forgetfulness.

relationships will not include blame and judgment or victim-villain scenarios, but will be understood to be co-creative experiences in which all parties take responsibility for their choices and decisions.

sexuality
human sexuality will be experienced as the joyous celebrations of life and the glorious expression of Godliness that it was always meant to be, it will be expressed without embarrassment or shame or guilt and without restrictions or limitations of any kind, except those that are voluntarily self-imposed.

- Tomorrow's God, Neale Donald Walsch
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If these ideas intrigue you, read the book. Personally, I think this would be a great world when we incorporate this new spirituality.

Truth in disagreement

And remember; even a point of view with which you disagree can bring you closer to your inner truth.
I have said that every book is sacred and every messenger holy, and it is in this context that that is meant. For all of Life has been created to return you to your innermost truth, and it will do that if you will but allow it to.
Life will open you to what is true inside of you. Therefore, belss Life, and everything in it. Do not condemn that with which you disagree, nor judge it unworthy. Call it not unseemly, useless, or unholy. For I say again, everything is holy that leads you to your innermost truth, and everything does lead you there...
...I have said here that on some very near "tomorrow" the human race will willingly and eagerly embrace an expanded idea and an enlarged concept of God and of Life. That is true. This will happen. And it will have an enormous effect on religion as you now know it.
- Tomorrow's God, Neale Donald Walsch p 232-233

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This is something I forget often. I tend to read things I already agree with, because I don't enjoy being annoyed and angry. But I can learn just as much, if not more, by reading things I don't expect to agree with. It allows me to formulate where I stand on an issue. It's also good practice for keeping my emotions in check.

The steps to the new sprituality

The first assignment for anyone wishing to seriously explore Tomorrow's God and to personally live the New Spirituality will be to go within.
Begin a schedule of daily practice in meditation, deep prayer, silent listening, whatever you are comfortable with. You can begin this right now, this instant. Fifteen minutes in the morning and fifteen minutes at night can change your life..
...Second, exercise your body. Your mind does not fully and easily take in new data if your body is lumping through the day. If you are not on a regular exercise regimen, establish one now. This is something you can do within the next twenty-four hours. Twenty minutes a day used in this way can change your life...
...Third, eat well. You are dulling your mind and killing your body with what you are ingesting. This effect is slow, and it is insidious. You do not know it is happening until it has happened, and then to reverse it becomes extremely difficult...
...When Life, rather than Instant Gratification, becomes your Prime Value, you will know that you have become truly spiritual...
...Fourth...Seek, on a regular basis, spiritual inspiration and sustenance for your soul. Find a way to recognize - that is, to re-cognize, to know again - the sacredness of all life, and to honor that which is divine, and which is divinely inspired.
Do this in whatever way feels fitting to you.
- Tomorrow's God, Neale Donald Walsch p 223-228 (excerpted)
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This reminds me every day that I have so much more to actually do in my life. It seems like so little to do, 15 minutes of meditation, 20 minutes of exercise, eating well...yet we make it so hard! I try to meditate at random times, like the bus ride to school, which is about 15 minutes, and then before I go to sleep, so that's a good start. Exercise is inconsistent due to school, and I only eat well when I can afford it (both in time and money) and when my wife cooks meals for me. Getting closer, but so much left to do...

In a word..

Love...
In a word, God is Love.
and freedom.
In a word, God is freedom.
and joy.
In a word, God is joy.
and peace.
In a word, God is peace.
and unity.
In a word, God is unity.

These are the grandest aspects of God and Life, and when people are being anything other than these things, they have forgotten Who They Are in their grandest version.
- Tomorrow's God, Neale Donald Walsch
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It is my hope that these words reminded you Who You Really Are.