alix olson - a red-hot, fire-bellied, feminismo-spewin' volcano. Plus she rhymes. Listen to her now!

Alix Olson is such an amazing performer. She performed tonight on campus, and I'm so glad I went, even though I had many other things I could have done instead.

Alix, to me, is the epitomy of freedom, expressing herself without any fear of retribution, without embarrasment, and without reservation. She is everything I wish to be, but can't imagine being. Not to mention her writing is simply awesome. Everything flows, smoothly, as if what she says was meant to be together in that poem. She makes me feel like it's ok to say and be whatever and whoever I want. I know this, but her words empower me more than I can on my own. Isn't this the mark of a good artist? Someone who can make you bigger than you already are? Alix is one of my hero's...she lives life, brave and loud, and does not apologize. The CWA is right to be threatened by her, because truth is always powerful, and truth spoken loudly and repeatedly is even more powerful. Stay strong Alix, and thank you for the inspiration.

grr...mathematica

For anyone who's used mathematica, you know how difficult it can be to get the program to do the simplest things sometimes...especially if you have to get something done quickly. All I have to say is, Fuck you mathematica! You suck! That's right, you, a computer program, have me telling you off on another computer program. Yeah, so there, fucking stupid program!

hahahahahaha I feel so much better!

A New Song (rought draft)

Inspired by Alix Olson

Walking the gauntlet of tables and flyers
Advertising groups or parties or ideas…
I walk quickly, without looking
Hoping to avoid attention

Would you like a flyer?
No, I wouldn’t, I say only to myself
As I take the flyer and shove it in my pocket
inwardly cursing myself for the silence

Is there anyone in America who hasn’t heard?
Do you really need to pass the word?
Is there anyone in America who hasn’t heard?
Do you really need to pass the word?

A block away I pull it out
Another flyer reminding me
How close hell is if I don’t repent
Laughing I find the nearest recycling bin

As time goes by, flyers mature
Turning into posters of written word
Thank god the road to hell is wide
How else would I know where to go?

Is there anyone in America who hasn’t heard?
Do you really need to pass the word?
Is there anyone in America who hasn’t heard?
Do you really need to pass the word?

I don’t believe in the hell you sell
But I believe in the state of mind
And all the trees that you kill to tell
Say more to me than you ever will

So don’t be offended if I blow you off
Walking quickly as you try to talk
You don’t want to hear what I have to say
Or understand what I believe anyway

Is there anyone in America who hasn’t heard?
Do you really need to pass the word?
Is there anyone in America who hasn’t heard?
Do you really need to pass the word?

31 March 2005 Jackie Meyer

diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic

diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic

And physics in a comic strip...pure genius!!!! Or I'm biased, being a geeky physicist and all...but when hot pixilated girls talk about physics I'm all about it hahaha!

diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic

diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic

I love, love, love, this comic. Especially the episode linked above. Everyone should read it, especially the geeky types out there like me :-) Haha, who knew female ejaculation could be funny?

Dad's 4th update

Dean's hemoglobin count was all the way up to 14 on Monday. Today he went in for the Merkel Scan. Nothing out of the ordinary showed up on that test either. The doctors are still baffled! Dean will go in again next Monday to have the hemoglobin count checked again. The doctors are going to consult and see if they can figure anything out in the meantime.

Dean's feeling a whole lot better though now that he has blood in his body again!

We very much appreciated all the notes and calls of of concern and well wishes! Thanks everyone! They really helped a lot!

How can this happen?

I'm trying to understand how this scenario can even happen. And yet it did, to members of my family (the in-laws)

The Family Tree Background: Carrie's stepmother has a kid, Jenny, who has 2 kids, Dusty 3 and Michael 1 1/2. She's married to Dustin, who's a rather large man/boy (I think a certain maturity goes with the title of man). Brenda and Dino live with Carrie's adopted cousins Morgan and Piper, who are 19 and 21.

Other Background: Dustin just got out of jail for something, not sure what, and he's been selling drugs and making meth in the past, and is probably still doing it now. Jenny is also on drugs, they say crank, but who knows. Also, a few days after Christmas she left to cash her check and didn't come back for the kids for 2 months! So just wonderful parents...

The situation: Three days ago, Jenny dropped the kids with Brenda. Last night, after 2 days without contact, she and Dustin show up to get the kids. Brenda and Morgan refuse, with Dusty clinging to them, refusing to go. At some point, Dustin punched Morgan, and Jenny hit Piper. The cops were called, either before or after the violence. Now, at this point you have 2 women with visible marks from being hit, and a small child screaming "don't make me go with them" and the cops do nothing. Yes, that's right, nothing. Just tell everyone to file reports in the morning. What?! You have two people who are clearly on drugs, who have just assaulted people, and you're going to let them take their young children and leave? How does that make sense? I can't even comprehend this. To the Evansville police, you really fucked up. You had the chance to save these children, but you didn't. Instead you turn your heads and pass them off...I hope your really fucking proud of yourself and the wonderful job you did last night. Fuckers...

(I'm not mad...no, not at all...)

My dad's update

Apparently my dad's hemoglobin count is up to 14, which is finally normal! However, we still have no idea what caused his blood loss. He has his little nuclear test tomorrow at 8 and then meets with the doctor at 11. Hopefully this will all be resolved tomorrow then.

What's so wierd about this is that my dad never, and I mean never, gets sick. But this year things got stressful in the family, well, his family. Also, he was working insane hours. He would work a month or two without a day off! What kind of job is that?! It's insane. So he's definately been stressed out. Hopefully he'll finally start relaxing and not get sick anymore. He's literally been sick since christmas or so, which is really out of character.

I know he's going to get better though, because my dad's pretty tough. He's also stubborn :-) But I love him, and I just want him to be healthy so he can go back to work and sleeping and maybe even some fishing! :-)

Amazing...

This has to be one of the coolest art things I've ever seen. Being able to see it in action makes it more amazing that just seeing the finished product, at least for me. Artist amaze me, because I have a complete lack of ability when it comes to pure creativity. I can write poems, occasionally, and songs, rarely. But visual art...beyond me. Someday I am going to open up my creativity block. I hate living with the feeling that I'm holding my expression back in some way. Maybe I'll be one of those people that starts doing visual art when I'm retired and find myself all of a suddon good at it! Lol, who knows. So anyway, check it out, and turn on the sound if possible.
sand art

My dad's update

They let Dean out of the hospital tonight at 6:45 p.m. His hemoglobin count was up to 11.8

They did another test today where he had to drink this wonderful chalky stuff so they could trace it through his system using x-ray. That test came back clean also. They are still baffled as to where he is bleeding.

He has to go to the hospital on Saturday morning to have blood drawn again to test the hemoglobin count. On Tuesday he needs to have another test done using nuclear medicine called a Meckel Scan.

The nurses kept calling Dean their "mystery man" because they couldn't understand how he could have been walking when he was admitted and because all the tests kept coming back with no abnormalities, which is good!

At this point, it's wait and see.

Thanks to everyone for their well wishes! It is very, very much appreciated!

Leona

My dad's in the hospital

==============================================================
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2005 8:38 AM
Subject: Dean's update


Dean was admitted to the hospital yesterday.

His hemogloblin level was 5.2 in the morning at the doctor's office. They sent him to the hospital. The hospital drew blood this afternoon and his level had dropped to 4.6. They couldn't understand how he was even standing up yet.

They gave blood transfusions to start with. They gave him four units of blood yesterday.

Tomorrow they are going to do an upper scope. If that doesn't show anything, they will do a lower scope.

Hopefully the scopes will find where he's bleeding so they can fix it quickly. He's in New London Hospital in room 315.

I was home sick yesterday with the flu yet or he probably wouldn't have called the doctors office since he had an appointment for today. He almost passed out bringing Brilee in to the house in the morning. I told him to call the doctors office and they told him to come in immediately. The nurse said if he would have waited until today, he would be coming in with an ambulance. I don't think he would have made it through work tonight knowing how fast his blood levels were dropping!

Just wanted to let you know. With any luck he will be out of the hospital later today or tomorrow.
----------------------------------------------------------
Dean's still in the hospital. They have given him 7 units of blood. His hemoglobin level was up to 11 tonight. For a guy it's supposed to be between 14 & 18. It's a good sign that the level has come up. The scopes they did today both came back clean for the upper and lower scopes, which was a huge relief! Unfortunately they still don't know where he is bleeding or why. Perhaps the doctor will have some more info in the morning.

Leona

the reason for the stones...

I've been having messed up nights since we got into town. Two nights ago I woke up freaked out because I thought someone walked in the room and walked right up to me. Unfortunately this never happens when I know I'm asleep, so I seriously freak out before I wake up. If I knew I wasn't awake, or that it wasn't happening on this plane, it wouldn't be such a big deal. Then I didn't want to go back to sleep because I was a bit scared. The next day I tried to find rocks to help protect me, but we had no luck. Not even a stupid little place in the mall with tumbled rocks...

Then last night I had all sorts of wierd dreams. They were the type of dreams you can't hardly describe. First Carrie and I were living in an apartment that seemed to be like a dorm? I don't know. She was back in the room, and I got stuck sitting in on a meeting that I couldn't get away from. At the end they broke out various bottled beverages, and I was concerned that they had stolen our beer and Carrie wouldn't be allowed to have our last Killian. I start going through all the bottles and I'm finding A&W, RC, everything but beer. But I decide RC is still good so I grab some. Then things change, as always, and I find Ms. Flury, my useless high school choir teacher. She's freaking out because there's no beer and for some reason they need beer. I try to find some, but can't. Again, wierd. Then I'm in water, for some reason, and my mom and brother (though he's much younger than now) and other people. But I'm focusing on the snakes I see all around me. I'm telling them there are snakes, and they don't seem to care. My mom says, there aren't any over here, so I make my way over to her. There are just as many snakes there as there were where I was!! So I try to swim farther, avoiding snakes as I go. It's really wierd, because they're just floating there, most just curled up, though some are moving. Thankfully none touch me, because I don't know what that would have been like. Anyway, I swim to a different area, and see what look a bit like sting rays...definately not helpful. I swim farther and see sharks! At this point I think this is just dumb and somehow get out of the water. What makes this scarier is that I'm really afraid of water, especially water I can't see in because I'm afraid something is in there that will bite me or something. So here I am in water, with a whole bunch of things that can hurt me! Very bizarre. Back in the hotel thing, I see my mom with my brother and some other people, but something's wrong with him. I ask her, what happened? She says nothing. I'm confused, because he's really not right, and she keeps saying there's nothing they can do. It was strange. Then, as if the dream wasn't wierd enough, we get on the elevator, but it isn't a normal one. This thing changes shape, the shaft that is. So where it started as a free standing shaft on the outside it turned into a bizarre roller coaster type thing, almost like we were in those vacuum tubes they use for bank drive-ups. Eventually we stopped. Honestly, at this point I can't remember much else that happened, and it was too bizarre to make sense of. This was all one big, confusing dream. Hopefully this citrine and tiger's eye will help a bit so I can sleep a little better, because the thought of sleeping still makes me a bit nervous.

stones

Today we found the only (apparently) place to buy rocks in all of Evansville. It wasn't big, but it had tiger's eye, which I knew I wanted, along with others. I got a smoky quartz that truly looks like there's smoke in it, which is definately neat. The tiger's eye is unique in that one whole face stays completely dark, almost black, no matter what angle you look at it. Normally when you change angles the fibers reflect and become lighter or darker. And, as I was walking around the store the rock started vibrating in my hand, so I knew I had to get it. It should help keep some undesireables away from me. Apparently citrine is good for bringing good dreams and restful sleep, which I definately need lately. The piece I bought has a ton of "imperfections" inside, but that's the best part! It reflects light from a different place as you rotate it, which is just pretty :-) Another pretty rock was moonstone, which I like because of the way the face looks irridescent in the light. It's also related to the moons and thus also to women, so perhaps I can make it be healing for cramps? I don't know. The last thing I picked up was a awesome agate with just nice sharp banding on it. Definately worth the 75 cents. Carrie got a neat piece of hematite to make into a necklace. There's an artist who sells in the renaissance street market who will probably put it in copper and make a great necklace. I have one of his that is moss agate, which is just pretty. And their cheap, only two for ten! Very nice. He definately does his research as far as the healing properties and finds very nice looking stones, so we'll be sure to buy from him again. So hooray, new stones!

Safe

My cousin Luke is home from Iraq, safe and sound! I got a phone call last night from him, which was a pleasant suprise. So I can breathe a sigh of relief that all of those soldiers made it home safely with no more casualties. Now I keep my energy towards a former classmate of mine who is still fighting in Iraq. Of course I want everyone to stay safe, but it's easier to focus positive energy towards a specific person rather than a group of people you don't know. And if anyone reads this, take a moment to pray or just send some positive thoughts towards Iraq and help bring peace just a little faster.

death

My father in law is dying. He's been told he probably won't make it to his birthday, which is march 18th. However, he sounded good the other day, so he's clearly having better and worse days. It's just so tricky. Carrie isn't even sure she wants to see him before he dies, but we told him if he can just hold on until the 14th we'll be in indiana. If he doesn't, we hop on the train the next day and get there for the funeral and such. And then again, if we go for spring break and he doesn't die then, I leave carrie up there indefinately perhaps, or we both go back and then what happens when he dies? We can't afford 2 trips. We honestly can't afford this one, but we don't have a choice. And I'm really afraid of what will happen if she has to deal with his crazy wife and everyone if she goes by herself...so I just don't know. Why can't people die on schedule? That sounds bad, but I know there are people who understand. Death is so complicated...