slipping

I feel like I'm falling into bad habits of stress and judgment. I don't like being this way; quick to anger, slow to affection, quick to judge, slow to forgive. I know it hurts me, but I haven't made the shift to move beyond yet. I had been doing so well, and now I'm letting school get to me. Graduate school is very difficult. The level of information you're supposed to make sense of is phenomenal just in one class, far more than in all my classes in undergrad. But instead of taking control of the situation and studying more, I've been doing just what I need to in order to get by, which ads to my stress. Why am I so slow to learn?! Today I took a big step and actually started some homework, though I only did the easy part. I still played way too much Zelda, and didn't work out or meditate. Where is the switch that finally applies what I know into what I am? I know so much random stuff, and in the end it means nothing because I don't apply it. There are days I do pretty good, and then days like this where I am falling short for some reason. I just don't know where to start at this point. I think I'll just start with going to bed and doing more in the morning. :-)