critters

Last night was critter night at the Hills of Chevy Chase. Carrie and I were going to go swimming (which was all cloudy so we didn't swim :-( but I digress) On the way I saw a racoon, and another small furry critter, which climbed a tree as we approached. So we walked around the building rather than disturb the racoons because I simply don't believe in disturbing animals unnecessarily. As we get on the bridge over the stream I see a big opossom to the right! It was funny to see all these critters within a minute. On the way back to the apartment we saw the racoons again coming up from the stream. The baby was so cute! Just a ball of fur. But I worried, because usually racoons have more than just one baby. So I decided to give them a helping hand and made them jelly bread and put it down on the rocks before the culvert under the parking lot. Carrie suggested the jelly so they'd find it quicker. It seems to have worked since it was completely gone 3 hours later when we ran to the gas station. Yes, I know it's not good to feed wild animals, but I figure if I can feed them something I know that won't hurt them, that reduces the amount of stuff they have to forage that may not be safe. And with scavengers you aren't making them dependent on you, because they're following their normal behavior. And I don't do this often, just when I see them occasionally. But I feel better for helping. I don't honestly know how they survive in a city anyway.

TheDenverChannel.com - News - Denver Allowed To Enforce Pit Bull Ban

TheDenverChannel.com - News - Denver Allowed To Enforce Pit Bull Ban

You're kidding right? Banning a single species of dog is consitutional? Insane. The worst part is the reason it's upheld is that the State Attorney's General didn't provide new evidence that pitbulls are just like any other dog. Is there really a lack of studies that document that pit bulls are not inherenlty more violent than other breeds? That's pathetic. I've met many pit bulls, who were the sweetest dogs you could meet. They were treated well by their owners, and so there were no problems. The problems come in when people train them to be mean and fight. That's not the dog's fault. Stick any dog in a cage, mistreat it, and it will come out mean. That's not an inherent pit bull trait.

Why do we continue to write laws based on prejudice and lies? And when will we learn that zero tolerance is the stupidest thing you could ever include in law enforcement? This is not going to stop dog maulings...just pit bull maulings. What will happen the next time someone is attacked by a dog? Will they outlaw mutts? All dogs? Come on!!!!!! This is insane!

I feel so deeply for the owners and good dogs out there. They're all losing their families, over ignorance and prejudice. It's sad. It's too bad all these people can't just move out of Denver, see how the city likes that!

Summer Solstice experiences

Last night I had every intention of a good meditation session...but time got away from me. However, Miss Congeniality 2 was quite amusing, especially towards the end when Gracie and Sam are becoming true partners. The scene with them all FBI'd up in their dark suits was hot! haha, but I digress...

We finished the movie at midnight. I gathered up all of the crystals I could find, two pieces of leather, and my moss agate necklace and sat outside. I placed the stones and crystals on the leather. I focused for a minute with my breathing, and then gave thanks to the earth, moon, and universe. I spoke my wishes for the human race, that we all find peace and unity, and truth. That this truly is ushering in the transition of humanity, rather than the destruction due to our inability to grow. Then I asked that my stones and crystals be renewed by the energy of the full moon and summer solstice. I bowed to the earth and went to bed. This morning I picked them all back up, putting some in my little leather pouch, which I then put in my backpack. I put my agate back on, and put the rest of the crystals and stones back in my little rock garden that lives on my desk. I left them on the leather though, since they were cut circular and only a bit smaller than the candle stands the cyrstals live on. I think it looks nicer, and the crystals are on something soft and organic now, rather than metal stands. It just feels better.

Then this morning I just sat on the ground while waiting for the bus. I didn't think about anything, just enjoyed the life around me. I've been doing this lately because the ground makes me feel better. I'm not consciously exchanging energy, but it clearly happens naturally. Today I noticed it in my legs first, and then up my back, the earth's energy moving through me. It vibrated at a lower frequency than I do, and tickled. :-) It was quite pleasant, until I noticed the ants trying to eat me. Lol, so I shook off the ants and walked away. I wish I knew how to enjoy the earth without being eaten by ants. I don't want to kill them, just coexist. But I don't consider them biting me peaceful coexistance

On the bus I also meditated, this time without counting, just breathing and focusing. I try to do that from time to time because I don't want the counting to be a crutch. The past few days in meditation I've noticed something I haven't noticed in years. At first all I see is a blank screen in front of me. There are some changes due to lights and such, but in general a blank screen. But then after about 10 minutes or so something happens. I'll do my best to describe it. Visualize if you could a kaliedoscope, but instead of all different patterns, imagine it having concentric circles. As you turn the Kaliedoscope, the circles move towards the center, getting smaller. The way I see it is like a circular diffraction pattern. (kind of like this) But they are always moving inward. This used to happen to me as a child, very young, around 5. I'm really curious as to what this phenomena is, though I have some theories. I'm not going to say them until I can do some longer meditations though, since I simply don't have enough information.

Wow, that's enough for now I guess. Time to get to work!
If anyone has any insight for me, feel free to share :-)

tivo

A few weeks ago I got pissed off at my phone bill and decided to switch to cable phone, voice over ip. Well, apparently Tivo is unable to use that because it uses a higher speed than voip can handle. Yesterday I was informed that we only have 3 days of programming left before Tivo is useless because it wouldn't know anything. I spent the day going back and forth to Best Buy, then CompUSA (twice) to get the things I needed for a network, and cheap. I've since learned there is no such thing as cheap! I spent $30 on just the USB to Ethernet converter for the Tivo (why didn't they just put a network card in...) then another $30 on the Router. I didn't buy the longer ethernet cables I need because they are also $30 for 14 feet, which is just slightly insane. So at this point I have my computer on the floor as far away as possible from the monitor. The router is leaning against the wall in the hallway. I have chords going everywhere, and a mishmosh of rugs to cover them. Our house looks like a mess. In july I'll buy the appropriate length of cable and be done with it. All this for Tivo...it's silly. Technology does not make things easier. But, now we can easily transfer recordings to the computer and burn them so we can keep them. And we can look at our pictures on our tv, which is neat. Just not something I wanted to do yesterday.

Now I need to shower and start dishes and cook some food. Today I absolutely must get things cleaned so the house is condusive to healing. :-)

recovering

I'm able to hold food down now at least. But I can't eat too much at once because I get full quick. And I often have this very empty feeling in my stomach, where it feels like my stomach is folding in on itself. I try to eat and make it feel better, but it doesn't work half the time. It's very wierd. And my bowel movements are still not so good, but better. I've decided next time this happens (hopefully it won't) I'm not taking immodium unless I have to. It just lengthens the time I'm sick by stopping the body's natural flushing process. Now I can't wait until the day I have a full meal! I'll try today, but Carrie has a terrible ear infection so she can't do much. Thankfully I got better enough just in time to take her to the doctor and help her out. It's been a looooong week in our house!

gastroenteritis...

is horrible! I haven't held down anything except a popcicle and a few crackers since monday afternoon. Apparently I have a viral infection that is causing mostly diarhea and occasional vomiting, with much feelings of nausea. At least the muscle aches that have made it impossible to be comfortable and sleep appear to be gone today. But living off water has made my stomach quite annoyed with me. This also forced me to drop my sociology class since I missed our exam and will have to pay to add another class. But, I have more free time because of it. No more 40 page reading assignments every night. But this is also my second day not at work, which sucks because I actually have something to work on. Well I need to go lie down and hopefully get a few crackers in me and maybe part of a banana. I think that will help.

vibrations

I've noticed that the area around my third eye has been vibrating a lot lately. It's been non stop tonight, and quite often the past few days. It isn't making me cloudy, which happens occasionally. So I'm curious what this will lead to. Perhaps this is an awakening or opening of this area. In any case it's interesting. Slightly distracting at times, but interesting. I just figured I should notate it so when I do figure it out I can look back on this day. haha!

meditation

Tonight I said, I have to meditate! It's been too long since I did a formal sit down, and even my bus meditation is less consistent due to time constraints and space. So I did it, finally.

I decided to do sitting position, with a pillow under my butt to get in a good position. I started with approximately 15 minutes of the meditation I learned from the Chan Buddhism class. This involves counting breaths. I found I count in a cadence that matches my pulse. This is a little fast than I believe the master recommended, but it feels natural, so I'm going with it. Eventually I tapered off, so the counting was quieter in my head, until I was just breathing. Then I tried this meditation, which was recommended by my friend Spenser, another Jedi realist. He said he had good luck getting energy moving, and I definately need that. I didn't feel it as powerful as it sounds like other people sense, but I could feel it. When the energy was moving on the outside of my body it actually felt cold and hot at the same time...you know that feeling where you're not sure if it's one or the other? It was interesting. I definately felt something though, and that's always nice. So after 20 minutes I decided to come out, and try to build an energy ball. That didn't go so well. I just wasn't gathering energy like I wanted to. So I had a very small ball lol. It'll get there. I'm sure if I started up with my qigong it would work better. But all in good time.

What was funny is my cat decided to come lay down right in front of my legs half way through. It distracted me a bit, but not for very long. After I gave him a good pet, he seemed very calm and loving. Perhaps the meditation gave him some peace too? Who knows.

In any case, a very positive meditation experience. I barely lost circulation in my legs and feet either, which is awesome! I definately need to keep doing this.

promotion

I've been thinking a lot lately if I were ready for the title of knight, based on the standards JRA has set, and my own. Granted, my standards are pretty high, and I still don't meet all of them. But, I decided to email brandon, my mentor, and see what he thought. I know he promoted his brother recently, so I was curious how he decided when to promote a student.

Today Brandon was able to get to a computer and we talked about it. I sent him conversations I've had with my student recently, and he asked if I thought I was ready. I mentioned that I don't have a steady enough meditation or energy work routine, but he doesn't feel that's a requirement. Long story short, actually, short story short, I've been promoted. I'm now a Knight of the Forms of Life, which I need to ask if that's what he calls everyone, or if it's specific to how I've trained. In any case, promoted in his eyes. He's writing a letter to Luna, and we'll see how JRA takes this. I figure I'll have to do some sort of essay or written thing, but hopefully not the whole accreditation exam. I went this route because I think most of those issues are irrelevant to life and to being a jedi realist. Besides, only Brandon has seen my growth and progression through the past 3 years. Well, besides me that is. And carrie...lol

So yeah...not much is changing because of this, yet, but it's suprising that it's only been 3 years, since summer of 02. It's felt like forever...a good forever though. Amazing...

wacky energy

I've found myself unable to sleep lately. Three nights ago I couldn't fall asleep until 2:30, then a big storm moved through from 3:15 to 4. And of course, that would be my first day of work (that I didn't need to be at) so I ended up with only 4 1/2 hours of sleep. The next night I still couldn't get to sleep, even though I was very tired. I tried breathing techniques, listening to music...just wasn't working well. Ended up with around 6 hours that night. However it was my first day of sociology of gender so my excitement carried me through (along with ginseng tea). Then last night, I was even more tired, and still couldn't sleep. Granted carrie was playing video games in the room, but still, that shouldnt' have affected my sleep quality that much, especially when that tired. It's frustrating. And today, I was completely dead when I made it home after work. But now, I'm wide awake, without any stimulants at all! Grrr...lol, it's just silly.

According to someone on the Indigo Adults list, there is a rare triad of some stuff in the solar system lol, I'm not so good with all that. Anyway, it hasn't happened since the year 911, and it makes things pretty wacky. And, with the solstice coming up everyone is just a bit out of control. So perhaps it's that. I know carrie hasn't been sleeping either, and I've certainly been a little higher in the spiritual plane so to speak. Different dreams, different feelings...just different.

I never used to really believe in this stuff. Well, more that I was afraid to believe, because only new age hippies or idiots believed that planets affected humans and behavior. But now I'm seeing that the issue is more that most people don't feel the energy change, because they can't feel anything at all. But those that are sensitive feel it, even if they don't know what causes it. People just ask if something is going on, because they can feel it. Eventually a scholar finds a possible cause. Now I'm not saying that's the only thing going on, but I'm not going to automatically discount it. Like my professor said today, there are boundaries to what science can know, and it shouldn't go outside of them. The spiritual also has bounds, and this is definately a situation of spirituality and not science. Now I'm hoping I can help expand scientific boundaries a bit, but until then I'm not worrying. I go off of experience and trust. In the end, there's no harm in believing in things anyway.

I guess i'll go read, meditate, and try to sleep. More meditation can't hurt, that's for sure. And I didn't do any today, instead I read more of What God Wants by Neale Donald Walsch It's finally getting to the parts that I want to read. Alright, bedtime. :-)