Thursday, July 14, 2005

Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior

There are so many things I want to say...and it's not in any order yet. This will be a train of thought post, with the train probably derailing a few times along the way...

Two big ideas were presented in this book. First, the idea of the three selves, which is our basic self, the conscious self, and the higher self. It's an idea you can find in many places, but since I'm not into psychology or philosophy that much, I'll stick with this terminology. The basic self takes care of us, heals us, lets us know what's going on. It's our inner child also, easily frightened. But it's our roots to the earth, an important function. The conscious self is obviously our consciousness. It takes in the data of life around us and interprets it. It calms our inner child when it's scared by things it doesn't understand. The higher self deals with...well, higher things. It's our spiritual place, transcending the illusions of the world to see the bigger picture. It is our bridge to the higher realms. Seemingly less important, but that's only because I'm not really there very often :-)

I think many of my problems exist because I'm stuck mostly in the conscious self. Which leaves me without roots, leaving me to float about wherever the wind blows. Sometimes I think they're there, but perhaps they're small and weak, so I can move more than I should. I'm not really sure. I know my conscious self takes control too much, bringing in doubts occasionally, questions more often. And questions destroy the process. Thinking destroys the process. You just do.

This all makes more sense to me in the archetype of the human being 7 floors.
First Floor: Personal Survival
Emotions: Fear, paralysis
Issue: Taking care of self

Second Floor: Sexuality/Creativity
Emotions: Sorry, weakness
Issues: Reaching out, embracing life, energy and relationship

Third Floor: Personal Power
Emotions: Anger, tension
Issues: Discipline, commitment, will

The Great Leap

Fourth Floor: Transpersonal Love
Pur compassion, open heart, ego no longer center
Emotions: Love, hapiness
Issue: How best to serve

Fifth Floor: Mystical Revelation
Pure Inspiration, eyes turned towards spirit

Sixth Floor: Unity
Pure Light, communion with spirit

Seventh Floor: Pure Being and Bliss
Pure Spirit, no self remains

- Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman, page 95

Much of Dan's journey involves these floors, and I actually understand this explanation. At one point, Dan tries to go to the fourth floor, in a vision, but when he got to the door he was kicked out, his psyche wasn't ready to go there yet. I think that's where I am, and why I'm not progressing as I expect. I've only superficially worked through the ground levels, so that leap is incomplete. The deap seated fears of the first floor left relatively untouched, though there has been improvement over the past 3 years. The guilt and shame that still taints sexuality, and feelings of weakness leave part of me trapped on the second floor. That also has shown improvement, large improvement in some areas over the past 6 years. The third floor tends to kill me. My will is weak, leaving many things done half assed or not done at all. I'm left spinning my wheels, if I ever got to pushing the gas pedal to begin with. I don't believe I ever had true discipline. I did things because I didn't want to disappoint others, and I wanted my reputation. I've done so little for myself, truly for myself, and even those I do I still have trouble maintaining. My focus is lacking, thus I can't even remember what my will should be doing! I'm too easily distracted by superficial things, like a video game. It's simple and fun, and easy draw for me right now.

These three floors are enough to keep me fully out of the fourth floor. I visit, but can't stay all of the time. I do feel a pull to help people, to ease their pain and suffering (self caused mostly). But I also slip easily into feelings of judgement, impatience, and frustration at their lack of change. So while I start there, I tend to fall out too often. The upper floors are even more tenuous, blocked mostly by fear. I really think this is my psyche saying we're not ready yet, you have too much work to do below before you spend any real time up above. I've spent so much time focusing on the higher things, spirituality, but without really working on the lower floors, which is probably why I haven't gotten very far experientially, just gained a bunch of information.

Where do I begin? And how do I proceed?

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

|