last night's experiment
Last night, before I went to bed I focused on just being...well, after letting my mind rant a lot. Once I felt more focused I asked my spirit guide if he would send me a message that is important for me to receive right now. Then I rolled over to go to sleep.
As I was waiting to drift off completely I started hearing voices again. These aren't "kill your cat" kind of voices, more like if you were tuning in a radio and just getting bits and pieces of conversation. Last night it sounded like a child I think, including some little kid singing. The funny thing is, when this happens I'm not absorbing or comprehending anything that's being said. The words are english, but it's like they mean nothing to me, just random words, like my brain is turned off. But, if I try to turn my brain on to comprehend, then the radio shuts off and I lose it. plus, I can't really remember what was said because the brain wasn't on! However, last night I was able to get it back after switching my brain on. I actually thought of it as a radio for a second, and have no idea how I did it, but I tuned it back in. But again, no idea what was said. I'm thinking this is how automatic writing happens, and if I could do this while awake I could just write without thinking and then be able to recall it. In time I think it will come because the station is staying around longer each time. It used to be just one or two words, and now it's whole moments, phrases.
I think this happens when I'm going to sleep because that's when my consciousness is shutting down, thus all the need for logic goes out the window. It will take some work to reach this state while awake, but I don't see why it isn't possible. Hooray for new skill! :-)
As for the dreams I asked for, I don't remember details. The only part I remember is being in the apartment, and I'm heading to bed. Carrie is going to the computer to check news. It feels like we're waiting for a prophecy to come to pass, because I say that if anything happens to wake me up because I want to be around for the last moments before the shit hits the fan. Not exact words, but the idea of it.
It's interesting to me that I had this experience while hurrican Wilma, which was predicted last month to occur now, was barreling towards Florida. So when I sort of woke up, I tried to remember what had happened. In my haziness I saw this pattern before me, like watching lava flow up close. Now, I am not sure if this is a pure vision or not, because I was beginning to get my consciousness about me, and I know there was a prediction for a volcanic event that should have happend a week ago and didn't. So that could have been a corrupted vision. But, I also can't describe what I saw, and I had to interpret it as lava. Had I put that thought in my head with just my consciousness, I wouldn't have seen that, but instead a more zoomed out picture. So I'm really not sure what to make of it.
I wonder if I saw more, but am blocking it, like I have in the past. I slept very poorly, waking up many times halfway. Perhaps I saw something that I'm still unable to accept, like the night the wierd light was in our house and I freaked out. I don't really know what to do about that little issue either. How do you control what you block?! I mean, you don't even know what you're trying to unblock, because it's unknowable to you! lol Maybe I'll figure that one out someday. But for now, I think it's time to review some differential equations and go to bed.
As I was waiting to drift off completely I started hearing voices again. These aren't "kill your cat" kind of voices, more like if you were tuning in a radio and just getting bits and pieces of conversation. Last night it sounded like a child I think, including some little kid singing. The funny thing is, when this happens I'm not absorbing or comprehending anything that's being said. The words are english, but it's like they mean nothing to me, just random words, like my brain is turned off. But, if I try to turn my brain on to comprehend, then the radio shuts off and I lose it. plus, I can't really remember what was said because the brain wasn't on! However, last night I was able to get it back after switching my brain on. I actually thought of it as a radio for a second, and have no idea how I did it, but I tuned it back in. But again, no idea what was said. I'm thinking this is how automatic writing happens, and if I could do this while awake I could just write without thinking and then be able to recall it. In time I think it will come because the station is staying around longer each time. It used to be just one or two words, and now it's whole moments, phrases.
I think this happens when I'm going to sleep because that's when my consciousness is shutting down, thus all the need for logic goes out the window. It will take some work to reach this state while awake, but I don't see why it isn't possible. Hooray for new skill! :-)
As for the dreams I asked for, I don't remember details. The only part I remember is being in the apartment, and I'm heading to bed. Carrie is going to the computer to check news. It feels like we're waiting for a prophecy to come to pass, because I say that if anything happens to wake me up because I want to be around for the last moments before the shit hits the fan. Not exact words, but the idea of it.
It's interesting to me that I had this experience while hurrican Wilma, which was predicted last month to occur now, was barreling towards Florida. So when I sort of woke up, I tried to remember what had happened. In my haziness I saw this pattern before me, like watching lava flow up close. Now, I am not sure if this is a pure vision or not, because I was beginning to get my consciousness about me, and I know there was a prediction for a volcanic event that should have happend a week ago and didn't. So that could have been a corrupted vision. But, I also can't describe what I saw, and I had to interpret it as lava. Had I put that thought in my head with just my consciousness, I wouldn't have seen that, but instead a more zoomed out picture. So I'm really not sure what to make of it.
I wonder if I saw more, but am blocking it, like I have in the past. I slept very poorly, waking up many times halfway. Perhaps I saw something that I'm still unable to accept, like the night the wierd light was in our house and I freaked out. I don't really know what to do about that little issue either. How do you control what you block?! I mean, you don't even know what you're trying to unblock, because it's unknowable to you! lol Maybe I'll figure that one out someday. But for now, I think it's time to review some differential equations and go to bed.
posted by Jaxson at 19:58
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