Wednesday, November 09, 2005

low vs high - venting vs inspiration

I just realized something, and would like to share it. For those who follow the news, you have probably heard that Texas in it's infinite wisdom wanted to reinforce their law that defines marriage as between a man and a woman by amending the state constitution to say the same thing. It passed, easily, except in Travis County, which is where Austin is, and where I live. A funny little island of sanity amongst the sea of insanity. Last night, and still today I was quite angry for many reasons. You can read my blog entry regarding it to see why. (though it's not for those who dislike the word fuck)

As mentioned, I used my blog as a way to begin to vent and put words to what I was feeling. I find that helps clarify a situation for me, to just write out what I'm thinking as a train of thought thing. However, it did not release the anger for me, just put more words to it. So this morning when I awoke I was still angry under the surface.

Then, on the way to school, I was thinking about a conversation my brother and I had a week or so ago. We've both been marginalized by society in different ways, and he was talking about making a shirt that said villian and offender. I thought it more interesting to make a shirt that said scapegoat. Well, on the way to class today I thought about it more. While my students finished up lab I got out my colored pencils and started drawing. I realized I could write out the word so it formed a cross (scape down, goats across) and the letters would be the colors of the rainbow. I have a picture if anyone wants to see. So the front is scapegoats in the form of a cross, and then the back just says "Taking the world's shit since the dawn of Christianity". Now, before the christians get upset, this is a statement on the history of the church, and that it's religious arguments being used against the idea of gay marriage. I'm not saying all christians are doing this, I know they aren't. Which is why I'm not mentioned christians, but christianity. It's all in the history.

Anyway, after coming up with that design I felt instantly better. And I mean completely better, in a very different way then I ever felt after a rant. And I believe I know why, at least for me. Maybe this will help you guys with things too.

When I vented, I was coming from a very low place, a place of anger, hurt, fear. It was lashing out, and definately not the place of my highest being. But, with this shirt the intention is not to hurt others, but to point out a truth. There is always a marginalized group that is the scapegoat for people. Christianity had many scapegoats: pagans, women, homosexuals - all demonized by the early church (again, it's in the history). And, you can generalize this concept more, just saying scapegoats - taking the world's shit since the dawn of time. Same concept, just pointing out a truth to people. And this is coming from a higher place, from my higher being. Not my highest, but definately higher. Thus, not acting from a place of anger, but truth (at least as I see it).
Wow, that was long :-) Do you guys see the point I'm making? This is honestly the first time I've released something so effectively I think. I don't know how this is applied to every situation, and I didn't do it consciously. The shirt idea came in a flash of inspiration. I just went with it.

I just wanted to share that with you all.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Possibly it wasn't so much the place you were coming from when you released the negativity (although it does have some impact on it) but rather that you took a more constructive and imaginative way to convey your feelings outwardly. Instead of using words, which only help to reinforce and create more reasons and give you a deeper righteous feeling of your pain and anger you were able to let it go, and let it flow into a much healthier channel.

Ahem, so now that I just reiterated everything you said using different words..I think I'm done.

Oh send me the picture that ya came up with, I wanna see the prettiness

Aaron

9:23 PM  
Blogger Jaxson said...

As long as people aren't distorting my words, I never mind them being referenced. :-)

By the way, I tried to comment on your blog, but got a wierd email about it not being delivered...so who knows about that! lol

But your points are exactly my point. These are not the teachings of Christ, therefore you really aren't Christians. And I know many people are growing more and more tired of this problem. But this is why I know things will work out, because of this awakening that things aren't right, and we need to stop the hate.

And I'm thinking about what to do about the shirts. Need to first figure out how to finish it up in photoshop, and then see where to make them relatively cheap and local lol I will post in my blog when that happens. :-)

4:00 PM  

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