more military dreams
Last night was the second night in a row of having dreams involving me returning to the military. They're always in a different setting, but always the same point. I show up, somewhere obviously military, I'm clearly re-joining, but it isn't necessarily boot camp. For instance, last night I just ended up at a barracks. And as always, I didn't have all my gear. I was missing a cover, then I realized I was missing my boot blousers.
The real question is, why do I have these dreams? I haven't even been thinking about the military really. Is it as simple as there being a war on? Do I personally feel like I'm at war, and my mind turns that into military? Maybe my ego wants to fight the changes I'm making, and thus has me preparing in my dreams. Yet I'm never ready. Hmmm...I should probably just try to recount the dreams.
Two nights ago, I was arriving at a receiving station of sorts. It was all female marines, and corporal stone was there. She was one of my leaders at MCT and was way hard core. I don't think I talked to her though. There was a lot of activity, and the only thing I really remember was remembering to look and see if my chevrons were on. I was relieved to see they weren't, I was chevron-less. Another Marine saw me do this, and I told her that no, I wasn't stripped of my rank. But I also didn't want it on. So that's a bit wierd. I think it was a reaction to the expectations attached to having rank, but I'm not sure. Or maybe I was trying to hide that I'd been in before. I can't remember enough to know.
Then last night the dream actually starts as me wanting to find a bathroom in this huge building. On the left there is a door for a training room (like physical therapy). I go to the right, there is a room for women, and a room to the left wall that has a boy and girl symbol on it. I went to the women's room, and it was full or something, I didn't want to go in there. I was hesitent to go in the family room because you never know what's in there. I think I end up back and forth for a bit. I go into the family room finally, and all I see are urinals, but it's pretty dark, so hard to see. I leave I think. Then at some point the rooms all change. The women's room becomes a women's barracks, though a bit mish mosh, as there is a double bed. Carrie is with me, and I have her go there. I think we even lie down a bit, but I feel uncomfortable with so many people around and able to see us. I take my stuff and go to the other room that was just a bathroom. There are 2 teenage boys it looks like. I ask where I can put my stuff, they aren't real helpful. Then they lie down on the floor because of lack of bed space. But there are enough beds. So I tell them the beds are more comfortable and they look at me like I'm crazy, when they're lying on concrete! haha I go drop my gear, and then someone that I think is my 2nd cousin comes in. He's retired air force and an asshole, but I'm still excited to see him. I'm only half in uniform, meaning cammie pants and boots, but a red shirt. I follow him outside, and he doesn't say anything, but also doesn't make me go away. There's a small formation, maybe 8 people. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable being out of uniform, though others don't seem to care. two other girls run back to the barracks, and I ask one if I can borrow a cover. She goes to carrie's barracks, and the other girl is actually a bunkmate. I'm scrambling to find a green shirt, then I keep looking, but I can't remember what I'm looking for. I keep looking and looking...and I think that's where the dream shifts. Perhaps that's the key actually...my looking for something but not knowing what it is. Haha, but how is that helpful?!
Then the dream shifts and becomes quite funny at times. I don't remember much, but at some point there is a giant wrestling match between basktball players. It's hilarious. First pee wee jumps the pile, then it's just pure insanity, with basketball all stars wrestling, but not harming each other. Bizarre! perhaps I'm watching too much basketball? hahaha
The real question is, why do I have these dreams? I haven't even been thinking about the military really. Is it as simple as there being a war on? Do I personally feel like I'm at war, and my mind turns that into military? Maybe my ego wants to fight the changes I'm making, and thus has me preparing in my dreams. Yet I'm never ready. Hmmm...I should probably just try to recount the dreams.
Two nights ago, I was arriving at a receiving station of sorts. It was all female marines, and corporal stone was there. She was one of my leaders at MCT and was way hard core. I don't think I talked to her though. There was a lot of activity, and the only thing I really remember was remembering to look and see if my chevrons were on. I was relieved to see they weren't, I was chevron-less. Another Marine saw me do this, and I told her that no, I wasn't stripped of my rank. But I also didn't want it on. So that's a bit wierd. I think it was a reaction to the expectations attached to having rank, but I'm not sure. Or maybe I was trying to hide that I'd been in before. I can't remember enough to know.
Then last night the dream actually starts as me wanting to find a bathroom in this huge building. On the left there is a door for a training room (like physical therapy). I go to the right, there is a room for women, and a room to the left wall that has a boy and girl symbol on it. I went to the women's room, and it was full or something, I didn't want to go in there. I was hesitent to go in the family room because you never know what's in there. I think I end up back and forth for a bit. I go into the family room finally, and all I see are urinals, but it's pretty dark, so hard to see. I leave I think. Then at some point the rooms all change. The women's room becomes a women's barracks, though a bit mish mosh, as there is a double bed. Carrie is with me, and I have her go there. I think we even lie down a bit, but I feel uncomfortable with so many people around and able to see us. I take my stuff and go to the other room that was just a bathroom. There are 2 teenage boys it looks like. I ask where I can put my stuff, they aren't real helpful. Then they lie down on the floor because of lack of bed space. But there are enough beds. So I tell them the beds are more comfortable and they look at me like I'm crazy, when they're lying on concrete! haha I go drop my gear, and then someone that I think is my 2nd cousin comes in. He's retired air force and an asshole, but I'm still excited to see him. I'm only half in uniform, meaning cammie pants and boots, but a red shirt. I follow him outside, and he doesn't say anything, but also doesn't make me go away. There's a small formation, maybe 8 people. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable being out of uniform, though others don't seem to care. two other girls run back to the barracks, and I ask one if I can borrow a cover. She goes to carrie's barracks, and the other girl is actually a bunkmate. I'm scrambling to find a green shirt, then I keep looking, but I can't remember what I'm looking for. I keep looking and looking...and I think that's where the dream shifts. Perhaps that's the key actually...my looking for something but not knowing what it is. Haha, but how is that helpful?!
Then the dream shifts and becomes quite funny at times. I don't remember much, but at some point there is a giant wrestling match between basktball players. It's hilarious. First pee wee jumps the pile, then it's just pure insanity, with basketball all stars wrestling, but not harming each other. Bizarre! perhaps I'm watching too much basketball? hahaha
posted by Jaxson at 10:24
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