teenage relationships

Tonight has been an odd one. First I talked to a jedi student who I speak with quite often. She is 15, and quite talented actually. She comes from a very religious family however and has to hide all of her training from them. She's in the midst of a spiritual turning point, made harder by her father being a minister. Talk about fun! However, tonight became a big issue regarding dating. Her father invited over a young man from their church, who happens to be 20. Don't get me started on how wrong I think that is, but anyway. The boy, asks her to go on a walk with him. Her mother accepts for her, which is also quite wrong. Isn't she allowed to make her own decisions? Clearly no. So she goes, after I remind her to breathe and everything. They come back, everythings fine. Then he asks her to a movie tomorrow night with a group of friends. Again her parents are practically accepting for her, rather than letting her decide. Both her parents and the young man are pressuring her into going, but thankfully she stood her ground and said to give her time to decide. So this whole situation freaked me out a bit, that parents are pushing their daughter to date someone who is way too old for her. Apparently age means nothing if the guy is a good churchoer. So while all of this disturbs me, there isn't anything I can do about it, except wonder at what is going through these people's heads. However, the last thing we discussed was that she made the decision to turn over her personal life to god, completely, and not date. The next person she dated would be her husband. I'm thinking, what?! Don't you realize you're trusting yourself to even understand the message that a person is the right one for you? And that this little plan does not solve the real problem, which is that she keeps getting hurt when she gets emotionally attached to a guy and then when she doesn't want to have sex he breaks up with her. Hopefully we can work on this issue in time. But it was kinda crazy. However, it's better that she not date than be pushed into situations with older men, who could too easily take advantage of her.

Then, I get into a discussion with another young teenage jedi who says she swore off love to focus on work and helping people. Which is fine, but her reason is more that she doesn't feel pretty or skinny enough for a boy to like her. I reminded her that not everyone is like that, and to not count anything out in the future.

What bothers me about this is that teenage girls are getting so frustrated with dating that they are already giving up on love before they even know what it is! It's sad! My hope is that this will allow them to survive the teen years and then realize they can open up a bit as they are older.

I also can't help but think back to how I was in high school. I didn't date, and the few people I dated lasted a few days, literally. I had crushes, though mostly on my friends, or on girls without realizing they were crushes. Of course I have to wonder then if these girls are making these rules because their subconscious is finding a way to keep them away from boys until they realize their sexuality? It's certainly a possibility, and a common experience for many lesbians I know. That doesn't necessarily mean anything though, so I work hard to remember that they are probably straight. In the meantime I'll work with my student to make her a strong woman capable of standing up for herself and making good solid decisions. Her strong connection to the force can guide her as long as she learns to trust it. If only her parents would leave her alone! I hope she survives the next 3 years living with them. I would hate to see her lose her way just to find it again in her 40s with a midlife crisis. Too many people get lost that way...and it's not necessary.

So that's my calling it seems. Saving one child at a time via the internet lol