chart updates

--- Jackie Meyer wrote:

> Wow, thanks so much. I'm going to go through this
> step by step, figure
> that's the easiest. By the way, I knew this stuff
> was detailed, but not
> soooo detailed! haha
>
> On 5/30/05, MB wrote:
> >
> > Hi Jackie, I just did your chart. Okay firstly you
> > have your Moon in Gemini in the 12th house. This
> right
> > there tells me you try to find meaning to why
> things
> > happen, and why the world is the way it is.
>
> This is true. Part of the reason I became a
> physicist, and why I'm
> constantly reading.
>
> But since
> > the Moon represents emotions and its in the 12th
> > house, you feel emotionally isolated from the rest
> of
> > the world, true?
>
> I think so. For much of my life I was disconnected
> from my emotions, well,
> disconnected from people, and I've never been
> comfortable sharing my
> emotions. I often feel misunderstood when I speak,
> because so many things I
> just feel and don't have logical words for it, is
> this the type of thing you
> are talking about?


Well it sure sounds like that is what it means :)

>
> And your Moon is squaring Saturn
> > which makes me think you have many times you are
> > depressed. I have the same aspect and its
> miserable, I
> > know. Do you suffer from depression of any kind?
>
> I sometimes get into a random funk, but I've never
> been truly depressed I
> don't think. Even my mom said I had teen angst, but
> not depression like we
> think of. However, I was teaching karate in my teen
> years, and had some very
> positive friends once I hit high school so I think
> that helped. Also, I've
> always had this thing against suicide, which I think
> kept me away from
> getting too depressed. Like I wouldn't let myself
> get too depressed. And I
> kept a journal that allowed me to put out some
> things, even though it was
> rarely anything important. But I could use my
> journal as an outlet since I
> didn't feel comfortable sharing with people.


We also go through transits all the time, and the
transiting planets can shape that up too a bit but
what is in your natal chart is your basic nature. I
have this thing against suicide too. We chose to live
the life we are living, we chose it before being
brought into the world. We have a mission, a purpose,
we cant bail out when its not our time, grave
consquenses after can be expected as a result.

>
> You
> > desperately want to find emotional stability in
> > others, and have trouble relating but there is a
> > charitable side to you as well with this
> placement.
>
> I've always been a mentor to people, typically
> online but also offline. I
> rarely share myself emotionally, but I do share
> facts of my life. It's an
> interesting way to share experience but never share
> me. Make sense? lol

I sure know what you are saying

>
> You have a hard time dealing with the cruel world
> and
> > have a constant need to retreat, and someone with
> this
> > placement needs security.
>
> When the elections happened this past year, I shut
> down for days. It was
> strange, I wrote a lot, and eventually came out of
> it. However I've always
> limited my politcal intake, so I could still remain
> positive about the
> world. Otherwise it gets too much.

Understand..
>
> You also have Moon opposing
> > Mercury, Mars and Neptune. Relationships are tough
> for
> > you because of having a hard time settling and
> dealing
> > with conflicts, its hard for you to bring emotions
> > into balance and you even have a hard time
> wondering
> > what is real and what isnt, and can get sucked
> into
> > illusions.
>
> Oh yeah...Reality is a big struggle for me. I don't
> know that it will ever
> not be a struggle, except I should be able to
> improve by tapping in more to
> my divine. And yes, relationships have often been
> difficult with emotions.
> I've gotten a bit better, otherwise my wife would
> have had to kill me. But
> it's really hard, emotions...

Very good with getting better, but yes emotions really
can get into the way, your Moon is unfortunately
afflicted mostly, so yeah you will be dealing with
emotions a lot

>
> Unfortunately your emotions are not secure
> > and have a real tough time, the root of your
> emotional
> > confusion, any depressive feelings you have and
> any
> > emotional problems you have encountered in your
> life
> > are from your afflicted Moon in the 12th. Lets see
> > what else you have. Although your Moon is sextile
> to
> > Jupiter in your 3rd house meaning you are very
> > sympathetic and caring.
>
> This is true, but my ability to be caring is often
> hindered by the image i
> try to show people, of a hardass. It was the person
> I created when I was
> young in order to deal with people around me. I have
> stripped some of that
> away as an adult though.

Well thats good, with age, experience, maturity you
experience it all
>
> You definitely have the
> > ability to succeed and you are a greatful person.
> > Jupiter in your 3rd house, the house of siblings,
> > communication, early education, community and all
> of
> > that means you are the type that likes to be
> educated,
> > you probably have good communication skills, good
> > writing skills, and if you have siblings, usually
> > denotes a good relationship with them but not
> always.
>
> I've always been educationally focused. My
> relationship with my brother is
> complicated, but not terrible. He's
> just...interesting...and difficult to
> deal with sometimes. lol

Ahh I see, lol
>
> But Jupiter is opposing your midheaven meaning you
> > have so much potential but you are afraid to show
> the
> > world what you have to offer.
>
> I've never thought of this before. I have been
> afraid to suceed too much in
> my life. In school I would be harassed for doing too
> well in school. So I
> would try not to show my intelligence, but I
> couldn't help it most of the
> time. I'm thinking this is probably correct, but
> since it's so new I'll have
> to let it sink in a while. How do I go about
> correcting this?

Take it at a step at a time. Stay faithful with
yourself, with your potential, focus on your dreams,
remain spiritual and it will come to you, dont force
anything or else it will backfire
>
> This placement also
> > shows spirituality being very beneficial for you.
>
> I was raised Lutheran, which didn't suit me so
> well. I've spent the years
> since high school searching, dabbling with wicca and
> taoism and buddhism. I
> follow a mix of all of these in my spirituality, and
> I'm actively focusing
> on spirituality now over everything else.

You will find what is right for you in time. I have
been in the same predicament, so I know how
frusterating it is. That is why too there is such as
thing as syncretism

>
> Alright, you have Saturn in your 4th, within 3
> degrees
> > of your 5th house cusp. The 4th house is what
> rules
> > your home life. Did you live under a strict roof?
> Did
> > you have a tough childhood?
>
> No, and no. My parents gave us a ton of room to be
> ourselves, and i had a
> pretty safe and normal childhood. I was allowed to
> do any activity I wanted,
> basically.

Okay well... I was hoping that my initial
interpretation was right :( but...I didnt want to get
to the other meaning of the 4th house, because the 4th
house also relates to old age. You may have things
getting into your way in the future, but... dont focus
on that right now, or you may feel when you are older
that you are somehow restricted, but dont focus on
that at the moment. There are always ways by going
about this if you were to encounter such emotions or a
situation that could be holding you back, as far as
what it could be, I cant say, but you will experience
some kind of restriction
>
> Something having to do
> > with your home life or childhood is affecting you
> > today, especially with Saturn squaring the Moon in
> > your 12th, its like... you cant get something out
> of
> > you that you really want to.
>
> Could this be my issue of once seeming to have
> gifts, and then losing them,
> with no memory of it happening or why? I have many
> gaps in my childhood
> memories, and I've wondered if something happened
> that I've repressed, since I know I have repressed
things (it happened once in my adulthood). It really
bothers me that I have such a lack of connection to
the universe, and I really want that to be strong. I
think that block was put up in childhood.

It could be, in order to remove those blocks you may
have to do several things, find a hypnotist, or even
try to remember, write it down if you remember
something....or if you know how to, meditate pay
attention to dreams you may have

- Show quoted text -

The 5th house is about
children, creativity, entertainment. Saturn is
very
close to this cusp, this makes me think you are
afraid
to use your talents. Well actually I think you
should
use your talents and creativity, and just enjoy
life
because your north node is in this house, the 5th
and
that tells you that you need to concentrate on
YOUR
enjoyment, and not worry so much about everyone
else.


I've learned to do this in the past years actually.
Even in my marriage I focus on keeping myself happy
and that keeps the relationship happy. Of course I
pay attention to her also, but I know if I focus on
her at the expense of myself it won't work anyway. I
think the key to this was when I decided to get out of
the military. It was all for me, and it was a turning
point for me. And I have been slowly using my
creative outlets and actively pursuing them. I'm
often suprised at how well they turn out at random
times. Though creativity is finicky for me.


Well have faith in your creativity because that is
where your north node is

Pluto in your 5th house, hmm have you had a
miscarriage by any chance, this CAN mean that. But
not
always. Also do you have a tendency to overspend
and
overindulge? This placement can indicate that. It
also
shows that if you have kids, they may be very
strong
willed!


No miscarriage, no children, though that'd be
funny...strong willed, as if kids are strong enough
willed! By the way, does that only apply to
physically having children? We plan to adopt, or my
wife will have a child, but I won't. Yes, I do
overspend and overindulge. I'm horrible with money,
but am slowly learning to control those impulses.
That's probably the _expression in my life.

Nope not physically at all! Well Pluto in that house
can indicate miscarriage or sometimes no children, but
not always. If there are children then they are strong
willed. But thats good you are doing better with
money!

You have a stellium in your 6th house, the
house of work, health, service of the Sun, Venus,
Uranus and Mars. You must really focus a lot on
your
work and even keeping yourself healthy. This is
what
this means to have a heavy 6th house.


Just to clarify, does this mean I tend to focus on my
work, or that I need to focus on them? As a child I
was ill often, but once I got into my teens I rarely
got sick. So my health tends to be quite good.

Yes focus on your health and work. Good you are
healthy, stay that way :) Perhaps take vitamins, eat
well, there has to be a reason for a stellium to be in
this house, you are needed for a reason. And you must
stay healthy

Your Mars and
Uranus this house trines your Jupiter in your 3rd.
This means you really enjoy your freedom and hate
anything getting into the way of it, you know what
you
want in that regard which is good.


oh yeah...I'm sooooo into my freedom! Why did I join
the military? lol

Ahh Mars, well aspected, definitely military material
:)

If something is
important to you, you will go for it. However, be
careful, again Venus squaring Jupiter, this can be
an
indication of self indulgance and carelessness.


That makes sense. I can have tunnel vision, which is
what got me to grad school against many odds, but with
smaller things it just causes me to waste money at
times. I'm getting it under control though.

Good for you!

Oh I
forgot to point out that Pluto in your 5th trines
your
Moon in your 12th. Yes it shows you have emotional
issues but you have the STRENTGH to deal with
things,
probably a lot more than you give credit to
yourself
for.


That's good to know :-) I tell others that all the
time actually. lol

And we all can give advice but not take our own! lol

You have Mercury and Neptune in your 7th house,
the house of relationships. You prefer to be with
those who are good communicators, with your Moon
in
Gemini and your ascendant in Gemini also supports
this. You cannot stand ignorance of any kind, no
patience for it, I know how that is, I am the same
way. You need those who are capable of providing
intellectual conversations, who are deep thinkers.



Oh yeah. I've found I don't want boring small talk, I
want to talk about big things and big ideas. And
ignorance drives me insane! I'm trying though,
remembering that not everyone is as evolved as others,
and they're doing the best the can in the moment.

Remember, Mercury RULES you, and this is a big
thing
for you. However with Neptune in this house, you
may
have certain ideas of how a relationship should
be,
and also can be deceived at times by others.


Not sure what this means.

Mercury rules thought, communication, logic,
intelligence even, so now you know :) Well okay, your
ascendant being in Gemini, Mercury is the ruler of
Gemini, therefore it rules you. What you said in the
above paragraph says it all :) You hate ignorance!
Thats Mercurys influence

Neptune
in some cases can be quite malefic. And
unfortunately
in your case it appears to be afflicted by the
Moon
and Saturn. This also can cause depression and
cause
you to find comfort in a fantasy situation, that
is
what these aspects indicate.


I'm pretty sure this is a pattern for me. It
works...but isn't always the best.

However your Neptune and
Mercury are sextile to your midheaven, which means
when you are in tuned, you are also intuitive to
others and what they are doing. But those other
bad
aspects can cloud over that at times.


So if I can control some of these emotional issues and
such, my intuition would improve?

Oh absolutely! You are so capable and its in you. I
have a retrograding Neptune in my 12th house, that is
a huge placement for psychic ability, I have problems
myself with emotional issues that have clouded my
ability, I am trying to get that under control and you
know what, it IS working!


Your midheaven
also trines Pluto which is a good thing, you do
have a
lot of power when it comes to others. You CAN make
yourself heard if necessary. But Venus is quincunx
to
your ascendant which also can be an indication of
issues with self esteem. Am I on the right track
here?


Self esteem has always been weird for me. I tend to
have relatively high self confidence, but definately
have my moments of low self esteem. But at some point
I had to have learned that most people disliked me
because I could do something they couldn't, either in
school or with karate or music, and it wasn't my
fault. So self esteem really only hit with
relationships, when I either doubted a person liked
me, or thought no one would like me. I'm glad I don't
have to worry about that as much any more. It still
pops up with friendships though. I thought it was a
wisconsin thing, that everyone needs to like me.
haha, now I just prefer they don't hate me, I don't
care if they like me.

Well that is what we all want, everyone to like us.
Unfortunately, that doesnt happen. but just know you
are a good person, you never did anything to hurt
anyone (unless by mistake in the past you did, and
believe me i know how that is, but I always apologize
for my actions), but even so and if someone cant get
over it, that is THEIR problem, NOT yours! So just
know you are doing the best you could, and if someone
doesnt like you, screw them! Dont let it influence you
in anyway! And they could be just jealous like you had
hinted! Your self esteem should not be based whether
someone likes you or not, because I am sure more
people will like you than not!

Thanks so much. This has to take a ton of time. By
the way, why do you need to know names when you do
charts? Just curious. Wow, thanks a ton again.

Happy to do it. This is my passion and I only need
names to do numerology charts, not astrology. Sorry
for not specifying! if you need anything, let me know!