children
I seem to be on a kids kick lately, which I blame on Rosie. And the neighborhood children. And my friend's kids. I guess kids are just everywhere right now. But it's Rosie's blog that makes me think most of all.
Today, reading the way children can push issues, ask questions, and never realize the emotional baggage that goes with it, makes me wonder how it will be for us. We know we'll adopt children, even if we're able to have a child, which depends on carrie's health. I'd like to adopt at least 2 kids, preferably siblings because they're harder to place. And we don't plan to adopt a baby. But at some point we're going to have to deal with questions like those shared by Rosie today.
To be honest, reading it brought up fears that children want to meet their birth mother before they are old enough to understand. It's that fear of losing the children you worked to hard to raise, but because you aren't the birth parent you are somehow less. It isn't really true, a good parent is a good parent, whether or not they have any blood relation to a child, but it's still a fear.
Especially since I will never have a child. I'm just not meant for that. In my dreams I acquire children, never have them, and I know I received them by some adoptive type means.
Even if Carrie has a child, unless they have worked out the ability to take my dna and merge it with hers in an egg, I will still have no biological connection to it. I'll really need to focus on releasing my own issues and just love it. Wow...it's a good thing I have a few years before we even think of fostering or adopting. It feels like a huge issue right now...insecurity, trust, love. Big, big issues that I need to tackle.
I will not be one of those uninvolved or overinvolved parents. That is my goal.
Today, reading the way children can push issues, ask questions, and never realize the emotional baggage that goes with it, makes me wonder how it will be for us. We know we'll adopt children, even if we're able to have a child, which depends on carrie's health. I'd like to adopt at least 2 kids, preferably siblings because they're harder to place. And we don't plan to adopt a baby. But at some point we're going to have to deal with questions like those shared by Rosie today.
To be honest, reading it brought up fears that children want to meet their birth mother before they are old enough to understand. It's that fear of losing the children you worked to hard to raise, but because you aren't the birth parent you are somehow less. It isn't really true, a good parent is a good parent, whether or not they have any blood relation to a child, but it's still a fear.
Especially since I will never have a child. I'm just not meant for that. In my dreams I acquire children, never have them, and I know I received them by some adoptive type means.
Even if Carrie has a child, unless they have worked out the ability to take my dna and merge it with hers in an egg, I will still have no biological connection to it. I'll really need to focus on releasing my own issues and just love it. Wow...it's a good thing I have a few years before we even think of fostering or adopting. It feels like a huge issue right now...insecurity, trust, love. Big, big issues that I need to tackle.
I will not be one of those uninvolved or overinvolved parents. That is my goal.
posted by Jaxson at 08:30
2 Comments:
hey :)
yeah i'm not thinking about kids for a long time... (that's just me, a puppy is enough for now :) )
but yeah, i saw this thing on a tv show, i now that sounds lame, but i though it was sweet... a lesbian couple had a baby by taking the egg from one mother and then fertilizing it with a sperm donor in the womb of the other mother. so they idea was both women were biologically connected to the child.
you probably already know about this or it's some tv thing? ;)
Leila
I couldn't even imagine having kids while in grad school, that's just insane! So that's at least 5 years, which by then you'll have a dog and not a puppy! But then there's the job thing...so we know no one should try to have kids for another 6 years or so!
Oh yeah, I remember hearing something about that. The thing is that carrie is the only person left of her bloodline, and she really wants to pass that on, which I'm totally cool with. But in Australia they're really working on combining dna from just any cells, like skin cells, and stripping the dna and inserting that into an egg, rather than using sperm. Then infertile couples (and who's more infertile than gay people) can have biological children of their own.
Post a Comment
<< Home