internal vs external

I'm finding it hard to focus on internalizing beliefs only, rather than spreading my beliefs to the external world. I think it's because I don't fully believe that if I change my beliefs, and thus my behaviors, that the world around me will thus change. I'm also impatient, because that seems to be a very slow way to do things. Perhaps it's slow because I haven't changed much, so my world isn't going to change much either. Makes sense to me at least. But I'm finding it really hard to trust that. I also think it may be easier to change if there are others around me who believe the same, thus the need for them to believe what I believe. So there's this internal battle between the idea that people need to come to their own beliefs, and my idea that they should believe what I believe. And then the conflict between wanting others to change, and thus making my change easier, or me changing first and thus changing the world around me. I know what is the right choice, but it's very hard apparently, because I keep choosing the wrong one! Perhaps the CWG meetup on sunday will bring clarity. Or I'll just do what I'm supposed to do, be the person I want to be, and all will be well in the end :-)