family

Holidays make people think about their families. I've spent a few holidays away from my parents now, some spent completely on my own, some with other friends, but I always got to talk to my parents and see them shortly after. I'm really lucky. Carrie is not. This is her first Christmas without her great-grandma, who she's come to realize is the only person that truly loved her in this world. Her father does not seem to. He gives what little energy he has to his wife and her kids and grandkids. Carrie is his only child and yet she does not get attention. He called a few weeks ago, after not calling for another couple of weeks and it seems like he just wanted money. Except we have no money to give. So now he didn't call today, and he always calls on Christmas. It's so hard on her, not having her family. She does have her mom, but there's so much crap from the past that she's not ready to love her or trust her yet. She's just working on letting her in a little at a time. At least her mom seems to be truly trying. But right now, Carrie feels really alone. I can only be so much for her, but I do my best. It's just hard, seeing her struggle without having that family behind her like I have. Hopefully I'll keep doing the right things and we'll slowly build a great family. At least I know she'll never treat her kids like she was treated. I'll struggle with showing affection, but not her. It will be interesting to see what kind of family we become.